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2 Bumps

Adoptees and Aparents: What do you think of

Adoptees: Would you want to be adopted back by your first mother?

Aparents: Would this web site make you re-think adopting? Would it hurt you if your kid's first mother adopted them back?


Asked by Anonymous at 1:16 AM on Aug. 1, 2010 in Adoption

This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • I am also an adoptee and now a PAP. In my situation I grew up knowing all of my biological family while being adopted, in an amazing Open adoption. I can say that papers are papers, names don't make you who you are or change a family bond. I love my adoptive family and my birth family, and in the future when we finally adopt I hope that my child will have the same relationship with his or her birth family as I did. A child or person in general can never be loved by too many people, so the document choice is up to the child.

    Answer by MiddletonFamily at 3:02 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • The website does not make me rethink adoption. i think it's a wonderful thing actually. My DH's father was adopted by his family BUT his birth mother was forced into the adoption. They have now found each other and reunited and it is a beautiful thing. One can never have too many loving family or friends.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 1:19 AM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • I was adopted when I was 21 days old. My birth mother was only sixteen. It was the best thing she could have done for me. There are way to many precautions today and the birth mother has so many days to opt out and keep her kid. I think the parents are given sufficient leeway when it comes to putting kids up for adoption.

    Answer by dragonlady44 at 1:26 AM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • Coming from the adoptee I would not want nor need for my birth-mother to re-adopt or adopt me back as I am a 33 year old adult. I first met my mother shortly after turning 18 and then lost touch for a while. I just recently got back in touch with her (she found me on Facebook) and she helped me get in touch with my father whom I just met for the very first time a couple weeks ago (great experience BTW). Lots more details which you did not ask for, so I will refrain from giving. But overall I want to state that I feel that my mother gave me a wonderful gift! I grew up super happy and healthy and very loved for the short time I had my mom and dad, they both passed away while I was in high school.

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 1:38 AM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • I was a little surprised at some of the statements in Scarlet's testimonial. They just don't seem very respetful to me.

    She writes, "There were other adopters filling the courtroom [listening to my story]. Adopters who uncomfortably looked down at their "possesions" a bit scared and wondering if they were witnessing their future demise."

    "As I turned to leave the courtroom . . . the adoptresses with their lawyers could not even look me in the eye. They wanted to . . . sleep well at night, with someone else's baby under their roofs, and in their empty barren arms. they wanted to be justified in creating the appearnce of fertility with someone else child."

    "They actually shrunk in their seats . . . I stared at them and they knew what I meant without saying a word. That's right, adopters, beware, by the time your generation of adoptees grow up this will be a common thing. We will get our children back."

    Answer by ARgal at 3:07 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • I'm not an adoptee or an aparent, but I know loads about reunion. MOST adoptees are fiercely loyal to their adoptive parents and would not want to be adopted back by their birth parents.

    Answer by onethentwins at 6:19 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • This is to difficult of a question to answer here.

    Answer by VoteForThiago at 1:18 AM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • i do not know how to feel about it.. it provokes emotion though - i am not apart of any sort of adoption situation... but it provokes emotion regardless

    Answer by MoMoFu at 1:24 AM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • I think my birthparents did what was right for them and to hell with anyone meeting them will not change that. I myself would never adopt.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 1:25 AM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • I would like to have a legal relationship to my Mother and family. .

    BUT, theres no way I'd want my Mother to be legally known as my adoptive Mother and have my ammended bcert sealed. Done playing the game of 'as if born to me'!

    So even better, than annuling my adoption and reverting back to the truth~ I wish there was a legal process to have a document (of birth) that would show BOTH sets of parents. Even as cruddy an upbringing that I had in the, I would not be a willing participant to completely erase it as if it never happend. its my truth- both mothers.


    Answer by adopteeme at 6:29 AM on Aug. 1, 2010

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