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Angry 4 and a half year old

I was told today that my 4 and a half year old daughter got angry at her preschool after she was told to please come back and sit at the table while the rest of the children finished eating. She did come back but got angry and kicked the table pushing it forward a little. She wandered to the blue carpet to wait for the others to have music time. Does anyone have any advice or suggestions on how I can teach her how to handle it when she gets angry. I don't want her to hurt another child or another worker. HELP PLEASE

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Asked by sarahsmom at 9:16 PM on Oct. 3, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (5)
  • I honestly don't think that you should be too concerned. Just tell her it is okay to be mad but that she is not allowed to kick things.

    Answer by VAMommyX4 at 11:04 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • I agree. she's 4.5 and being angry is a whole body experience at that age. I'd reinforce that being angry is okay, but let her know that kicking could hurt somebody and she wouldnt like it at all if someone hurt her for no reason. :)

    maybe she could ask to be excused from the table? that seems perfectly acceptable and shows her good manners.... if they're adamant about everyone staying at the table, I'd ask if she's okay to do puzzles or coloring while the others finish up. it's a nice quiet activity that wont be too distracting to the others.

    Answer by amkarvelis at 11:10 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

  •  I have a 4 yr old that used to have behavior problems b/c of high lead levels. there are a few ways to deal with the anger isue. One way to have your daughter express her anger is by telling her that it is ok to be angry, but she should use her words to talk about why and that it is not ok to hit objects or people. This works only if she is mature enough.OR allow her to express her anger by ripping up paper at the table and when calm ask her to tell you why she was angry. OR take a common privilage from her for an hour, like the tv or her toys.. example: When my son hurt a boy at school we decided to take away the TV, we still allowed him to play with his toys. We told to him that it was not ok to do this, and then told what he was having taken away. This worked, he has never hit another kid since, and it has been a year!

    Answer by Jessie2313 at 3:17 AM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • Everyone is entitled to be angry. But you are not entitled to behave badly in your anger. She may not understand her anger or why she is so upset. I was a very angry child. I was not molested or abused. Just very lonely as a child. Misunderstood. It is possible her anger comes from somewhere deeper. Start taking her on walks. Do not force conversation, just walk quietly. You may be suprised as the walks progress how close you become.

    Answer by SusieD250 at 11:30 AM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • Thank You those are all great answers. I'm going to talk with her teacher tomorrow and have them try some of these suggestions.

    Thanks again Moms

    Answer by sarahsmom at 3:37 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

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