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How do you deal with it when people say daycare is raising your kids?

It's an insult when people say daycare is raising you kids. I told the director of the daycare center that and she said it was true. I couldn't believe it. She said she is raising my kids and all the other children in the center. I work part-time(20 hrs). I am raising my kids not day care. How do you moms deal with this situation?


Asked by extremelibrary at 10:42 PM on Oct. 3, 2008 in About CafeMom

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Answers (9)
  • I completely agree with VAMommyX4! I have always worked 40 hrs/wk (no real choice), with my kids in daycare from 6 wks - 5 yrs old, & NO daycare is NOT raising my kids--their father & I are! They temporarily care(d) for them each day Mon-Fri while I am working, but they do not "raise" them in any sense of the term!

    Answer by fosternpa at 11:04 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • I'm a SAHM, however as a child who was in daycare full time from the time I was 6 weeks old, I don't feel like I was raised by daycare. There are some ways in which I could see someone thinking that about me, for example, I was potty trained by a babysitter and not my mom, but otherwise, my memories of growing up are mostly of my family and very little of daycare. My parents influenced me much more than daycare. I don't know how to explain it exactly, but I've thought about it before, and I don't feel like I was raised by the daycare at all.

    Answer by JenEliBella at 12:21 AM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • No that daycare is not raising your children. Not kids - kids are baby goats. That's what my boss tells her employees.
    I work @ a private preschool. When children are there before me ( I work 9 to 6 Mon thru Fri.)and they stay till I leave I say we are raising the children We spend more time with the children then the parents do.
    Their are parents who take advantage of the school Drop their children off all or half of day so the parents can have some adult time. What about the children you brought on this earth. They need the parents time too!
    No the children might not remember our names but we do get connected to the children by taking care of the parents children while they work AND earn more money then their providers do.

    Answer by bmwlover at 11:08 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • I eouldnt go as far as they are raising your kids, but yes they are helping you raise your kids. I did childcare for a couple of years and in most cases, parents work full time and if you think about it, we saw the kids more than the parents. We even had some kids we've had from birth call us mawmaw or memaw. I would never be critical of it though. You do have a huge attachment to the children, well at least I did, but I would never say that I was the one raising you child. Like the saying goes, "it takes a village to raise a child". You working part time is great though, but dont take it personal, some people are just snotty about that sort of thing. If its an inconvenience for you childcare provider then I would find a new one that would appreciate your child. I never worked in a daycare though, I did home childcare with my grandmother. I loved it!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • Even at 40 hours a week a daycare isn't raising the child! They are providing childcare. They are not helping with expenses, they don't have the ability to make major decisions, they aren't responsible for the child learning morals and upholding the values the family holds dear... I could go on and on! In 5, 10, 15 years, your child is not going to remember the name of a single person in that daycare! Don't let them or anyone else make you feel bad about working!!
    *I am a SAHM, by the way.

    Answer by VAMommyX4 at 10:54 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • daycare is not raising your child you raise them so she was over stepping her boundries and i would tell her that shes not raiseing them!! that would piss me off too!

    Answer by 4lyfe56 at 10:54 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • Mine goes to day care, and it does seem like they are raising her. Her vocabulary is spectacular, she has great social skills, is very affectionate, and is always happy.

    I'm not offended by that statement, but could understand why mothers would be. Just remember that you spend quality time with your child. That's what's important.

    Answer by charisma10 at 10:51 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • omg...sounds like she is overstepping her boundaries if that is how she feels! I ran a daycare for quite some time and I would have NEVER said anything like that to a mother. No, you don't want anyone taking care of your kids that doesn't feel attached to them or think they are only there to keep the kids fed and from hurting themselves, but to say they are "raising" your child in 20 hours a week is ridiculous. People have to work, its a fact of life! I'd like to know what they expect you to do! Especially since you're only working part time anyway!

    Answer by kabbot01 at 10:48 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • 20 hours a week I wouldn't consider that as raising your children. But for other moms that work 40+ a week that would be considered raising your children, I work over 40 hours a week and thank God I don't have to put my baby in day care. I have a husband that doesn't work as much as me and a mother in-law that helps


    Answer by robinalbright at 10:48 PM on Oct. 3, 2008