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Need advice, dating a great guy who lacks sense!

I was in a very abusive relationship for 3 years and when my daughter was born, I got out. She is now 4, and I have finally started to date....I honestly thought I could never find someone to love me. I recently found someone who was my miracle. My daughter adores him, and so do I. He literally IS the sweetest, caring, compassionate, man I have met. SO, my dilemma is....he is lacking some common sense. So much that it scares me. One incident that plays over in my mind constantly is a time that he almost killed my daughter....by a very foolish mistake on his part. He hadnt slept after getting home from a nightshit...he was exhausted. I asked him to start the car and load our bags in the trunk (on our way to airport for funeral), he gets my daughter in her carseat, she was sleeping. I finished getting ready and after about 2o minutes I went to the garage and saw the garage door was shut! I was so shaken up and still dwell on it

 
Mom2Rylin

Asked by Mom2Rylin at 5:18 PM on Aug. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,198 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Wow that is scary! I understand your concern but you have to remember, everyone makes mistakes sometimes. If he really is a great of a guy as you say he is, then I would just sit down with him and tell him your concerns. Has he any experience with children? Sometimes people who have never been around babies and kids, don't see the danger in things that we as mothers do. Just tell him that he needs to be more careful around the kids and try your best to not put him in situations where you think he might do something foolish. Regardless, you need to sit him down and talk to him about your feelings and concerns.
    Ash9724

    Answer by Ash9724 at 5:26 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • I ran out of room on my question, but I need help getting advice on what to do. I really care for him and guys like that dont come along everday. My whole fam loves him too. But I feel like i lost trust because of that. Also i worry and feel like I have to babysit him because he doesnt ever stop and think before doing something. He left candles burning on the coffeetable with 2 yr olds running around......this is my dilemma
    Mom2Rylin

    Comment by Mom2Rylin (original poster) at 5:21 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • If he continues to have incidents like this then you have no choice but to leave him. That isn't something you can easily forgive or forget. Your daughter could've been killed. That lack of common sense on his part isn't something to overlook. No sleep or a full sleep he is at fault for putting your daughter in danger. He may be an angel on earth, but are you really willing to risk your daughter's life or yours again on chance?
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 5:22 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • I would not leave him alone with her, ever. Your child must be your number one consideration, in every decision that you make.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:22 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • hmmmmm, question...why would you have him start the car when yall are still packing it up? Maybe thats an opps on both parties? personaly the kids are the last thing put safely in the car, then the car started when everyone is in with seatbelts on. but thats just my thought.
    Shani527

    Answer by Shani527 at 5:25 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • You might have to be going behind him all the time checking on things, sounds like it might be like having another child to check up on. Tough call. GL
    QandA

    Answer by QandA at 5:43 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • I'm torn, because like some pp's said, I need to watch him carefully. I talked to him when the garage thing happened, and he was in tears and couldnt believe he did that. He promised to be careful. I also agree that him never being around children is also something to consider. He says he is still adjusting the best way he can. So far I have been giving it time to see if he can prove to be a good SO and father. I want to try, I just wasnt sure if its the right thing to do, chancing things with him. The candle thing happened weeks later, and to me that just screamed common sense. Maybe thats because I've raised my child and he isnt use to kids all the way yet. Thanks for the advice from everyone, I think I will see how it goes, in the meantime keep a close watch on him when he is with my 4 yr old.

    Shani527 he started the car because it was hot in the garage and outside temp was 102. We wanted the air going.
    Mom2Rylin

    Comment by Mom2Rylin (original poster) at 6:03 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • If he hasn't been around kids it just may mean he needs time to adjust. Just keep an eye on him with your daughter and see what happens.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 6:42 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • Thankyou to everyone:) I feel a little better about my decision to stay with him and see how things go. I definately will keep a close watch and hope for the best!
    Mom2Rylin

    Comment by Mom2Rylin (original poster) at 8:13 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

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