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what should i do?

my boyfriend whom i am havn a baby with (31 weeks) used to talk n mess with this girl that lives and still lives in his apt complex. i now have been staying w him for 6 months and today we had a minor arguemnt n he went outside to smoke a cig and walked to the end of the apt complex and when i went outside to ask him a question about the crib we just purchased today i saw him talking to her all happy go lucky. in a way he hasnt been w me in a while. i felt (at that monent) that he wuld never care for me as much as he showed w her today. and he was smiling and laughing. should i leave him. i don't know wht to do. shes moving next fri...i dnt know how to deasl with this. we have been talking for almost 3 yrs now. (in nov.) when i saw that i hated him. plz help me calm down or tell me what you think i should do...what would you do...and more questions, or infor you need, just let me know.

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steph_parker

Asked by steph_parker at 5:29 PM on Aug. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (37 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • I dont think you should leave him over this. He isnt cheating on you. Lots of people do this. They have a private reality life behind closed doors, but once they go outside they put on their happy face for the world. Imagine if he was sitting on the steps and being consoled by her, that would have been worse. He was being neighborly, he didnt bring his personal problems up, he was just saying hi to her. I dont think he could possibly care about her like he does with you, he is with you, not her.
    beyondhopes

    Answer by beyondhopes at 5:36 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • Remember that your hormones are crazy right now and that you will have much stronger reactions to your emotions than normal. That being said it depends on what your relationship with this guy is like now. If you are supposed to be in a monogamous relationship with him then sit him down and explain that while you do trust him (if you do) that you don't feel it is appropriate for him to be talking to a girl he was messing around with before. If he gets angry or defensive I'd say it's time to leave. If he understands or just gets frustrated then more talking and actions will speak in the following days. If you have a solid relationship and you trust him then hear him out. If you don't only you can make the choice of what you should do. I wouldn't stay, but that's because I did stay with my exhusband and only really bad things came from it. I've lived and learned.
    Cassarah

    Answer by Cassarah at 5:37 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • @beyondhopes and cassarah thank you both so much. i love this website...
    steph_parker

    Comment by steph_parker (original poster) at 5:40 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • there you seem happy with the replies. That is good. It can be difficult, but give it time.
    QandA

    Answer by QandA at 5:57 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

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