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I feel heartbroken!!

My 5 year old son told me today when he was in the corner being diciplined that he didn't want to be my friend anymore. I replied that I am still his mommy and he can't change that, so he said "Then I will get a new mommy!" What do you say to that? Where do 5 year old kids come up with stuff like that? He has even told me once that he didn't love me, it makes me sad, and not want to dicipline him, I know I have to punish him when he does wrong, but when he says things like that it makes me want to cave in....any advice, I don't know what to say to him when he says those things....


Asked by wellerswife at 11:14 PM on Oct. 3, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (10)
  • I used to say the same kind of things to my mom when I was that age. When my son says, "Your not my friend anymore." I say, "You're right. I'm not your friend. I'm your mom. That means I love you more than any friend you will ever have, and it's my job to see that you behave well so other kids will want to be your friend."

    Answer by tiggermom803 at 2:35 AM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • Oh girl don't worry about it. He is just saying that to get a rise out of you and to see if he makes you feel bad enough to let him out of time out or to stop punishing him. You'll here it plenty more the older he gets.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:17 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • Tell him that it hurts your feelings and it a very mean thing to say. My daughter has said somethings not-so-nice on occasion, and that's what I tell her, I talk to her about it. I ask her, "would you want me to say that to you?" and when she says no, I ask her why. She'll answer with something like, "it would make me feel really sad." And then I tell her, "well, that's how it makes me feel when you say things like that to me, so next time, think about it before you say something." I only had to do that twice. You still have to discipline him :( as heartbreaking as it is!!

    Answer by WadeMom313 at 11:20 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • well sit him down face to face and explain to him why he's being disciplined, let him know that you still love him no matter what and it hurts you when he says those things but you will continue to discipline when he's being bad. my son hasn't said things like that yet but try hearing him call someone else mom in front of you, that hurts. also if it helps try a "safe spot" that's what we used when I worked at a day care, let them know that they still are being punished but instead of a corner maybe a pillow on the floor or somewhere and have him read a book, or whatever, then after he comes out of the spot have him explain to you why he thinks he got into trouble. stay strong, he's only acting out the only way he knows how because he's hurt. good luck

    Answer by workenmom at 11:22 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • You know what i say to my kids when they scream at me that they dont love me....
    i scream at them: WELL I LOVE YOU DEAL WITH IT........

    Answer by epy108 at 11:50 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • It's called manipulation and yes little kids know how to use it...Don't fall for it..punish him longer for it...I know that's harsh but he is doing it because he is mad for you punishing him so now you need to teach him that he will get in more trouble for saying that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:11 AM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • Don't worry about it! He'll be hugging and kissing you again in an hour or two or maybe even a few minutes. Everyone says things they don't mean when their angry or upset. Especially kids! I know it hurt's but, wasn't that what he was trying to do. He didn't mean it.

    Answer by amydh at 3:04 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • tell him that you are ok with that. that you love him no matter what and you are doing what it takes to make him the best person he can be. if that means that he does not like you sometimes, then ok.

    I also tell my son "that is ok, I will always love you no matter what, but right now I really dont like you"

    Answer by vbongard at 9:56 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • Tell him you love him, no matter what he does. He will feel loved when he's being disciplined, but also I would tell him it's not nice to say things that hurt people's feelings, and make the punishment last longer.

    Answer by McGregor at 10:01 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • ohhh when my son was that age he got mad at me for punishing him and he told me he did not love me then after he kept acting up i spanked him and he looked at me and said that didnt hurt.... yup I poiltly called granma and told her come get ur grand baby or he will be I promise they will out grow it soon

    Answer by kebbler2929 at 10:06 PM on Oct. 4, 2008