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3 Bumps

Are DH and I wrong here??

Ok so DH and I are in a very good financial place and we can afford a nice house, a nice car and we pretty much have everything we need.

My SIL is 19 and she is staying with us for 6 months.

She totally spends as much as she can. She asks DH for clothes, shoes etc almost every other day and she goes out every evening.

So hubby and I decided to tell her she needs to get a part time job (at least) so she can cover some of her own expences.

My MIL called- she was furious at DH and me for asking her daughter to do that when we can afford to pay for everything.

DH and I don't wanna keep spending hundreds of dollars daily on his sister. It's not about the money, it's just that she's taking the money for granded and she takes advantage of us.

Are we wrong?


Asked by pipermomofash at 7:59 PM on Aug. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Level 15 (1,915 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (27)
  • why do you think mommy got rid of her lol?! she needs a life, at least a part time job!

    Answer by angevil53 at 9:45 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • Of course you're not wrong. She's learning a lesson in how to take advantage of someone......that lesson needs to stop!

    Answer by colethky at 8:02 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • You are right. She will never learn responsibility and be independent if others enable her to take advantage. Good luck.

    Answer by elizabr at 8:04 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • Just because you two have worked hard and are doing well does NOT mean you are obligated to take care of his spoiled brat of a sister. She needs to learn to take care of herself. Even if it were only necessities she was wanting, it's still not your obligation to do that. Her mother should have taught her self-sufficiency instead of how to act like a diva. No one is entitled to your money but you.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 8:09 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • NO you are not wrong she is taking advantage of you! I would understand if you MIl didnt think she should pay rent of something, bu you should not be paying for new clothes and going out!

    Answer by tiredmomfor2 at 8:05 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • I'm with you. To keep handing over money, to provide room and board free of charge, is enabling lazy behavior in the woman. She needs to get her act together and be taking steps to get job training to support herself. She should be paying you room and board, and she certainly should not be getting an allowance. She is not a child, she is an adult.

    Answer by Bmat at 8:01 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • You should also tell her that she need to pay rent.... even if it's only $30-50 bucks a week....and draw up a rental agreement for her to sign. Then if she can't abide by it you can evict her!! You are so in the right to ask her to kick in for her own expences!!


    Answer by Morgain at 8:03 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • No you absolutly right. It's like your own child, once they become of a certain age you teach them responsibility and that they need to work hard in order for them to be able to obtain the things they want. I'm shocked that your MIL doesn't agree. Your DH needs to tell her that the way he has become as successful as he has become is by working hard and saving himself. If she is an adult she should do the same, or maybe it's time for your MIL to take care of her expenses if that's what she'd prefer. I hope things work out for you guys. It's so tough to work hard and have family take that fro granted. Good Luck

    Answer by sheli2007 at 8:06 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • wow 19 and still least she's getting taught by someone who refuses to hand money to her. she will always be that way and quite jobs endlessly if you continue to keep giving. ignore MIL and tell her what YOU want her to do. she lives with YOU now, not MIL.

    Answer by americansugar80 at 8:09 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • At nineteen she should not be asking you for any money, she should have a job.

    You are 100% right to ask her to get a part time job.


    Answer by gammie at 8:09 PM on Aug. 1, 2010