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I am starting to wonder if it's me

I have the hardest time getting and keeping female friends. I have one bf she has been my friend since kindergarten so it's going on 21 years now. All of my other friends are a year or less. They don't seem to last. Some of my problems have been the user because I'm so nice they try to use me for example always asking to borrow money they don't wanna pay back, or babysitting all the time no pay and not wanting to return the favor. The unavailable one the friend whose only available when her man/hubby/so is not available. The partier the friend who just can't understand why a married mom of two and preggo doesn't want to club. And the latest one doesn't like my hubby no real reason that she has told me just she doesn't like him. Which I told her is fine she doesn't have to he's MY husband not hers but she makes off hand comments about how handsome he is randomly. I meet them different places not sure what I'm doing wrong.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:08 PM on Aug. 1, 2010 in Just for Fun

Answers (11)
  • Sounds like you are too nice and people just take advantage of you.

    Answer by Cochise at 8:09 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • It is hard finding and keeping friends. I have always had a hard time with that too.

    Answer by Lobelia at 8:10 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • It is hard.

    Answer by lovinangels at 8:12 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • It isn't you. You've just taken up with not very nice people. Join some groups of people with similar interests to yours- classes, volunteer groups, religious groups, political groups, sewing groups- and don't be quick to call someone a friend. If someone appeals, suggest that you and she stop for coffee, or that she come over for cake and coffee. But as soon as someone asks for money, that's it for them. If they have an emergency and want free babysitting and they don't insist on paying or reciprocating, then bye bye. I hope you find friends soon.

    Answer by Bmat at 8:13 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • Hang out with guys. I have one girl friend, any other girls I hang out with are my guy friends wives/gfs. Guys dont expect much and arent caddy! Haha

    Answer by Morgs7531642 at 8:14 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • some people can only handle one friend and some people can handle many. i would just tell everyone what you REALLY want and see how many can stay and how many run.

    Answer by americansugar80 at 8:15 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • I have friends but mostly male and I have a couple female friends but that is it sometimes you want to be to nice to people because thats what friendship is but always remember if it is not given back to you or appreciated its not a true friend.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 8:16 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • OP here didn't mean to be anon. Anyway thanks for the group suggestions@Bmat. The guy friends is a nice thought but I haven't had much luck there either when I  was single I had more but being married I'm even more picky about a male friend @ Morgs. Thanks ladies for taking time to answer. I've considered just dropping all my friends and starting over I'm just sick of the same ole same ole. Especially since I try to be the best friend I can.


    Answer by nautired at 8:21 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • It's hard making friends. Stick with the friend you have had for years and get rid of the rest and start again slowly.

    Answer by erin7420 at 9:35 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • I know someone this happens to. They keep taking advantage of you, and when you need something from them, you don't get anything in return. The next time they ask to borrow money, etc., tell them "no." You have a right to say no. And if they don't like it, they can go to someone else. Also, stop being so nice.

    As far as friends go, it sounds like your other female friends don't have any kids. The one that wants you to go clubbing is out of her mind. You're pregnant, that's the last place you need to be. What was she thinking?

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:34 AM on Aug. 2, 2010

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