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2 Bumps

i need advice adult content

in october i left my husband because we were having major problems...but in dec i came back and we started working things out and now six months down the road he is back to his self only worse he is controlling and wont get out of my ass...he tells me where i can and cannot go...who i can and cant talk to...i understand cuz i did have a bf while we were broke up but still....he wont even go to the store without me and i cant go anywhere with out him or he thinks i am talking to someone else

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:34 PM on Aug. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Why did you go back to your husband. He's probably trying to earn your trust again? Or being over protected If you want to stay with him Talk to him and tell him how you feel
    bmwlover

    Answer by bmwlover at 9:37 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • I went through something SORT OF the same recently. Here's the thing, after you have had relationship issues of any kind, where other people were involved, your partner is always gonna have the paranoid feeling and it can tear relationships apart! My husband left with a woman that he said he wanted relations with but she wouldn't cuz he was still married. So even though he says nothing ever happened, I was ALWAYS thinking that if he did it once, he could easily leave again! IT'S ALOT OF WORK TO FIX!! Try counseling.
    teardrop_7060

    Answer by teardrop_7060 at 9:37 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • Have you two gone to counseling? Sounds like he is feeling insecure and you will need to regain his trust and that is just going to take time. The more you balk at his behavior the more he is going to think you are trying to hide something.
    erin7420

    Answer by erin7420 at 9:38 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • Ok so you two have some major trust issues, partly your fault. But I must ask what are you trying to find out, that you should leave him again? You both need to go to counseling, and if you do leave him again, no boyfriend until you work on your own problems. The controlling problem is not easy to deal with but its because he doesnt trust you. And if he's back to the same way, leaving and going back doesnt work for obvious reasons.
    browningmom

    Answer by browningmom at 9:39 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • do you want to be with him? going to a marriage counselor would be my advice for you. sometimes having a neutral person that doesnt know both of you can help pin point what the real issues are and give you advice on how to work together to over come them.
    gwen407

    Answer by gwen407 at 9:42 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • I AM GOING TO BE STRAIGHT UP WITH U THEY DON'T CHANGE. EITHER U STAY AND PUT UP WITH IT OR STAY GONE. THEY WILL BE OKAY FOR A WHILE THEN THEY GO BACK TO THE SAME WAY.
    mamaofficer

    Answer by mamaofficer at 9:43 PM on Aug. 1, 2010


  • If I am understanding the statement, he was controlling and jealous before, you seperated and then got back together. While seperated you had a boyfriend? Unless you have cheated in the past and given him a reason to be jealous and he was jealous and controlling before the seperation then that is simply how he is. It is my experience that he will not change, he may pretend to for awhile but he will soon show his true colors, yet again. So you need to decide if this type of behavior is something you are willing to put up with the rest of your life. You must consider as well, controlling and jealousy often turns into more physical abuse, if it hasn't already. It also teaches your children to act that way or that it is alright for someone to act that way to them. Wish you the best.
    Dezarey

    Answer by Dezarey at 9:57 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • He doesn't trust you and that is not his fault. So you accept that you gave him reason to distrust you, and now you have to prove to him that he can trust you again. You do that by accepting that he doesn't trust you, and you allow him to go anywhere with you he chooses to go and you say nothing about it. Do you have any idea how many women would love to have their husbands want to go with them even to the grocery store? Mine almost never gets to go with me, and it is a wonderful treat for me when he can go with me. So appreciate what you have, and know that in time, he will probably come to trust you again.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:42 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • Sounds like he doesn't trust you, and yall need to have more communication. Say, "this is where I';m going" or leave a note, so he knows.
    txdaniella

    Answer by txdaniella at 12:04 AM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • time off is not enough to solve problems, and now you have more. did you two have a plan for what would be different when you got back together? if you are wanting to make this relationship work, you both need tools to do so, get some counseling before you make each other crazy. of course he's totally insecure - you left, you found someone else. but instead of recognizing how you got there in the first place and acknowledging his feelings, things are totally antagonistic. you both need to try something different if you are going to save your marriage.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 1:14 AM on Aug. 2, 2010

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