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My son hates school! HELP!!

My DS had a lot of problems in school last year. We finally got him in the Special Edu at school and his math went up from 63 to a 92 in just 6 weeks. He was doing a lot better, but he hates school.
He cries every morning, has held onto my car door's handle, ran after my car when I've left, and has absoultly refused to go to school. He is 9 and ADHD, in 4th grade.
I don't know what to do. He just came out of the room and asked if school started in 3 weeks and when I told him yes, he started to cry and say he didn't want to go to school.
It's not even time for him to go and the trouble has already started. This is going to be a long year. Have any of you delt with this? Is there anything that I can do to make it go more smoothly. I have always been a SAHM and it seems like he is having seperation issues, but really after 5 years in school?

Answer Question

Asked by marriedmomto5 at 10:11 PM on Aug. 1, 2010 in

Level 10 (427 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Does he get picked on by any kids at school? No I havent had to deal with that yet (god help me) It might be too much all at once for him to deal with. See if you can spend a day observing him in the school surroundings, it might be very insightful.

    Answer by browningmom at 10:15 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • He could be having anxiety issues, not sure what to expect for the coming year. My sons both have high functioning/mild Autism, my older one is going into 3rd grade and will be going into a full-time regular education classroom (up until now, he's spent part of his day in Autistic Support), so this will be a big jump for him, and his younger brother (going into 1st grade) will be taking his place.

    I have scheduled some "meet and greets" with the teachers when they return to set up their classrooms in about 3 weeks. This has always helped both of my boys with the "what ifs" and anxiousness that they are prone too, and die to their diagnosises it's hard to "reason or explain" things to them--they need to see and touch things for themselves. I would suggest you do the same. You might also want to shop for some special clothing and accessories that might help him get excited about going back to school.

    Answer by LoriKeet at 10:17 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • See if you can spend a day observing him in the school surroundings, it might be very insightful

    I didn't even know you could do that. I've asked him and he says the only reason is bc he doesn't want to be away from me. Talked to both of his sibs and they say there's no bully or anything and he plays on the playground with other kids. He will tell me something and then later say he lied nc he just wants to stay at home...grrr :( i feel awful, thought about homeschooling, but i'm way too adhd for that and he'd learn nothing from me

    Comment by marriedmomto5 (original poster) at 10:19 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • have you ever considered homeschooling? There are online public schools also where they have play dates and field trips so the kids can still get the social

    Answer by mscamp0235 at 10:19 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • also speak to the school nurse, psychologist or director of pupil services... they may know how to help or who can. Maybe some counseling may help as well.


    Answer by Morgain at 10:26 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • I would love to homeschool, dh would support me even if he thought I was crazy, but I raelly don't think I could. I've read so many books on how to, joined groups on here for it and it costs a lot of money and we don't have any of that.
    Where would I look for the public schools online?

    Comment by marriedmomto5 (original poster) at 10:26 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • My nephew (almost 11) hates school as well. One time the principal had to go pick hi up because my sister cannot make him mind at all, just argues all day long til she gives up. I believe with my nephew, the problems are
    1. he has no rules at home so at school it's kind of confusing to have rules
    2. he makes no friends, because he need to be in counseling. he is very manipulative and the other kids avoid the drama

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:29 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • My 12 yr old hates school and has from day one. He has adhd and an anxiety disorder. He also is not a morning person so I know what your going thru. I just try to be there for him and let him know how important his education is. His counciler is also a big help. He also has an I.E.P. that is designed for his issues. Hope everything works out for you and good luck.

    Answer by zadesmom1998 at 11:46 PM on Aug. 1, 2010

  • Have you talked to anyone at his school to see if there are any problems there? But, being in a special ed class, there is a chance that he is being picked on. See if there is some way you can talk to his teacher before school starts and maybe he will have a better year.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:15 AM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • I also would encourage you to visit the school and go for the entire day. Most importantly, do not pull him out of school for home schooling. He will never be socialized then, esp. being a child with special needs.

    Also, see if the school will assign a resource teacher - not sure what state you are in but in CA a child with ADHD has the right to a free, public education, including any necessary aides.

    Answer by tasches at 1:37 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

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