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Mommy needs a drink...

My son is 11 months old, and I haven't had one night 'off' yet. If I do get to go out with my girlfriends (once every 2-3 months) I am stuck on baby duty bright and early the next day. My SO works as a bartender 3 nights a week, and he usually has to take a cab home because he has been drinking. If I do go out, he insisits on going out the next available chance he gets (later in the week) and leaves me taking care of the baby the next day. I don't think this is fair and whenever I try to talk to him about it he gets defensive and says he misses me and acts like he can't believe that i would even want to go out. What do you think i should do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:22 AM on Oct. 4, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Put an end to his drinking and fun, parenting takes 2. Let him know you mean business and DO NOT let him off the hook
    Married2theBest

    Answer by Married2theBest at 12:24 AM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • i would also keep track of every time he goes out and when you go out. men need to see if to believe it so just telling him isn't enough show him. he can't dispute what is written. i agree with marriedtothebest put an end to his drinking. his party days should be over.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 12:40 AM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • You need to put your foot down now because it will be harder later to stop his irresponsible behavior.
    akhlass

    Answer by akhlass at 12:45 AM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • The bigger question is why do you think it ok for you both to be drinking and needing your "time outs" without each other? I would say it is time you both grew up, realized parenting is a full time job for both, and start putting your family first instead of your own selfish, immature attitudes. Drinking and partying have no part in being a good parent--teaching your child how to live a solid, rich life. Don't walk where you wouldn't want your kids to follow.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:06 AM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • I think it's okay for a mom and dad to get out and do there own thing once in awhile. It's good for everyone. Hanging out with girlfriends and having a few drinks isn't a bad thing...but getting drunk...come on...I can understand needing a break, but what about you try things like going to the grocery store yourself...stuff like that...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:20 AM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • simple, stop going out and tell him he can't either and no more getting drunk after work cause that counts as going out too.-my hubbs use to get drunk after work when i was preggers. last time he did it he fell asleep outside and i left him there.-no more drinking.
    chyna_doll

    Answer by chyna_doll at 1:33 AM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • I DISAGREE WITH THE WOMEN WHO ARE SAYING THAT YOU BOTH NEED TO STOP GOING OUT. I THINK THAT YOUR HUBBY NEEDS TO STOP BEING SO SELFISH AND THAT YOU DESERVE MORE TIME TO GO OUT. IT IS IMPORTANT FOR PEOPLE TO GET A BREAK EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE, THATS HOW PEOPLE KEEP SAINE. YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO GO OUT. I HAVE BEEN DEALING WITH THE SAME THING FOR 2.5 YRS. I STARTED KEEPING A CALANDER ABOUT 2 WEEKS AGO AND AM SHOWING IT TO HIM. HE WAS IN SHOCK WHEN HE SAW IT. SWEAR UP AND DOWN THAT IT DOESNT SEEM LIKE HES OUT THAT MUCH. NOW THAT THERE IS A CALENDAR KEEPING TRACK OF HIS OUTINGS HE HAS BEEN GOING OUT LESS. TRY IT AND LET ME KNOW IF IT HELPS. THE FIRST 2 WEKKS OF IT THOUGH ~ DONT TELL HIM. YOU WANT THAT 2 WEEKS TO INCLUDE HIS NORMAL SELFISH OUTINGS INORDER FOR IT TO WORK. MESSAGE ME AND LET ME KNOW IF THIS WORKS.
    alicia_4307

    Answer by alicia_4307 at 3:14 AM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • I am disapointed by everyone who is telling me to 'grow up' . I have a child, work, go to college full time and am responsible for pretty much all of the house cleaning. suggesting that i should not have a few nights 'off' a year is rediculos. i appreciate all the suggestions, but i am suprised that 'mommy time' on my terms is out of the question to many of the respondants. what if i wanted to go to a spa, or shopping with some friends or sit alone and read for a few hours?? just because what i want to do involved tipping back a glass of wine in an adult situation with some of my friends might not be what some of you women would do, i don't think it means i should put my kid up for adoption or give up any and all adult only mommy time!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:32 AM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • OK....first, to the moron above that is mocking you obviously needs a drink to loosen up her "big girl" panties. Second, I'm sorry for some of the rude remarks of some of the others, but you are absolutely right! you do need mommy time, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it what so ever. I would sit down with your man and come up with 1 day out of the week where you can take a break, even if its only for an hour or two. dont feel bad, thats the only way to stay sane. Good luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:41 AM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • If you are having babysitting problems, hire a babysitter for when you want "mommy time". You seem to have a full schedule as it is. I don't see how you have time for drinking without it disrupting your regular activities. I was a single parent of 2 children, had a full time job, went to college for awhile, and still had "mommy time". There was no man at home to help with anything.
    hippypeg

    Answer by hippypeg at 9:55 AM on Oct. 4, 2008

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