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Why is being a mom so unsatisfieing ( sp ) to some women ?

Why do some moms feel that it is beneath them to spend time with their kids ? That being a SAHM is not worth their time? That a day at home with kids is a waste? Why then have children if it is a waste of your talents ?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:00 AM on Oct. 4, 2008 in General Parenting

Answers (12)
  • If you ain't going to raise them don't have them--Dr. Laura:-)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:12 AM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • some moms think it's more important to secure their childrens future, which is why they are always working.
    chyna_doll

    Answer by chyna_doll at 1:25 AM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • Hm. I don't think raising my kids is a waste... but I can see where some Moms are. I am not good at the "Donna Reed" kind of Mom stuff. I don't smile and keep the toilets sparkling. I don't pat my kids on the head and sleep in a twin bed across from my husband. Some days being a SAHM sucks. It's reality. Some days my 21 month old (high maintenance) drives me to the point of insanity - screaming and driving her brother and I nuts. Some days the 4 year old taunts her until I am just counting time for putting them down for a nap. I miss working sometimes. I miss easy acknowledgment of a job well done, I miss collecting a pay check. There are no such easy acknowledgments staying home.
    Serafyna

    Answer by Serafyna at 1:27 AM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • Yes, thankfully, those days are not everyday. But they DO happen. I don't think you're interpreting it right that SAHM isn't "worth their time" -- its just not for everyone. It doesn't make them less qualified to be a parent. Just because you stay home it doesn't make you a better parent then someone that works. I don't know where this weird "I'm more MOMMY then you are" stuff comes from on here. I am a SAHM and I don't feel like I am better then other Moms.
    Serafyna

    Answer by Serafyna at 1:31 AM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • Some moms work to provide the needs for their children, Some stay at home to provide more of a personal relationship...Either one is done out of love and neither is out of selfishness so I think you have a wrong judgement on working moms...Just because you work does not mean you are like that...Some moms do feel like being around their kids are a waste of time but nobody said particularly working moms were like that...It's a personal choice not a steriotype...You can't judge an entire group over something that is an individual choice. Some people have kids and simply just don't want to bother...It has nothing to do with work or not...Just laziness and irresponsibility.
    TiffanyLove18

    Answer by TiffanyLove18 at 2:02 AM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • But don't you feel like you're missing something when you're not with them? I used to be a SAHM until DH got disabled. Now I work nights (10-6) and sleep days (7-3) just so I can see my kids when they get home from school. I still feel like I am missing alot just because I am not there to cook breakfast, fix my dd's hair and take them to school. there dad gets to do all that, but I can't help feeling like it should be me!
    mrssullivan

    Answer by mrssullivan at 2:04 AM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • I agree with the PP, I work because I have to, and after 3 1/2 months of 24-7 baby time i thought I would be SO ready to go back to work. I am full time now since last month, and omg do I miss my baby. I work 2-10:30 at night, so I don't get to put her to bed or anything like that. My SO definitely sees her more than I do (he works 3 days a week, 3 hour shifts) and I totally feel like I am missing out. I guess the moms that don't feel that way are missing their "mom" gene. My mom was that way, she never really had an interest in us kids.
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 2:31 AM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • I know a few women that don't think their kids are worth their time but I don't want them to be confused with working mothers. Working moms are doing what SAHMs are doing: providing for their children-just in a different way.
    I think it's sad that women have kids and then leave it up to everyone else to care for them because their life is more important to maintain, this is not the same as a working mom leaving her child in day care though. Even if the mom chooses to work because staying at home drives her crazy, she still loves her kid at the end of the day.
    Some women are born with no mom genes and some are. Some are made to be SAHM and some are made to be working but it's important to recognize the difference between these women and not lump them all together KWIM?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:47 AM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • I have been both. I was a SAHM until my youngest went to school. When she started school, I started part time work, so I could still be at home when they got home from school. Its a good thing I did start work because after that my X and Isplit, and divorced. Then I went fulltime and still was home with both my girls when they were out of school.I was/am a good Mom. I'm not a superMom, but a good one. They never lacked for love and affection.Unfortunately they grow up and move on and then you are alone and that is really harder than anything. When they leave your heart breaks.My girls were always everything to me when they were growing up and now that they are older, they still are.
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 7:42 AM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • I think my stepsister thinks this way about her two kids. I think she secretly resents them because she had them so early (she'll be 24 in December). It makes me really sad...she complains every time they're crying and she begs people to take care of them every time she has a headache. It's like...why not use birth control if you didn't want kids so early? Seriously.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:44 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

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