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(Please) any advice needed....

I am a mother of 3boys altogether 2bio and 1 step-son. My huband n i have been married for 6 years this July. Recently i have noticed behvior from my DH that concerns me. I enjoy every part about being a woman and making sure i look my best no matter where i am is a must.. to look good for him and myself. Well ive noticed comments he's been saying like why do you have to look your best no matter what or your just going to w-mart why do you have to put on make up? I have been expressing to him for years that he needed to show more affection btw and now all of a sudden he's kinda doing it but more like he's thinking that im going to leave him......i just want you happy and you dont seem to be happy! Well he got mad last night and its not the first time this has happened and punched a hole in the wall of our house. I told him he really needed to consider anger management..i am starting to get a lil scared...advice needed!

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HOTMOMS23

Asked by HOTMOMS23 at 9:16 AM on Aug. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (40 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • It sounds like your communication is off. Do the two of you have very different communicaiton styles? If you do, this can be very frustrating and put strain on any relationship. My advice to you would be to possibly seek help from a marriage counselor or just someone that is unbiased you can talk to openly; something you can do together. Simply suggesting that your husband go through anger management can be insulting to him. Try a different approach!
    AuroraMoon

    Answer by AuroraMoon at 9:23 AM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • well, first off, lots of men find it weird when women ALWAYS dress to impress especially when they are just going to walmart. My husband always tells me "you don't need makeup, you are beautiful without it" He always finds it weird when women over dress themselves. But, he is the type that likes natural, confident women. Women who feel the need to put makeup on all the time, even for petty things, come off as insecure. They think they need makeup to look their best, which comes from insecurity & insecurities are NEVER attractive, even though every human has them. I guess some more than others. I agree with your DH about the makeup.


    A hole in the wall does not necessarily mean anger management. My DH has done this too, guys are just more aggressive than women. At least he hit the wall. My grandma always used to say "you can hit the wall, but you can't hit a woman". What was he so angry about anyway?

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:29 AM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • Samurai Chica....Im not talking full makeup....a lil mascara or lipgloss.so i wont look dead..I think it would be different if he told me i was beautiful ..he never does so ur probably right about the insecurity issue. HOWEVER when this is the 5th hole in the wall of ur house...i think it is a problem....he's angry because he has people telling him he's trying to control me....and he put the word in MY MOUTH...n that i never said or implied in any way..
    HOTMOMS23

    Comment by HOTMOMS23 (original poster) at 9:48 AM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • Aurora Moon i have acutally suggested the marriage counseling for that...we do have a communication issue..he likes me to listen and when i voice my opinion which is rare he gets angry bc i dont have the same outlook as he does...no two people r ever going to agree on the same thing..but we need to come to some type of understanding i think..."my way or the highway" is his outlook
    HOTMOMS23

    Comment by HOTMOMS23 (original poster) at 9:51 AM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • Anger management sounds like a good idea - normal people don't punch holes in their walls. If you've always made sure you look your best, why his sudden change? Is he having work problems, etc.? It sounds like he is very insecure - and yes, a little controlling. He really should get some help before his behavior escalates.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 11:34 AM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • I always have make-up on in some form or another. ALWAYS! It's to feel good about myself when I look in the mirror not really for anyone else. Your husbands behavior is a bit childish and he does need some anger management skills to deal with it.
    michelle121003

    Answer by michelle121003 at 11:52 AM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • Yes have always done makeup........MY DH first met me working at a CLINQUE counter.........lol he knows this is nothing new for me! I love makeup....its always been a form of art for me...I LOVE MAKING THINGS n people feel beautful after all thats the best part of being a woman:) thank you ladies..i needed someone elses input n advice to make sure im NOT just over reacting.
    HOTMOMS23

    Comment by HOTMOMS23 (original poster) at 12:50 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

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