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2 Bumps

Teeange daughter in jail..

My 15 year old daughter was taken to jail lastnite. I had to call cops because she left home without permission and did not return. Had suspicion she was with 17 year old boy who she has been trying to see since early spring. I have been going round and round with her on this issue, she was in jail once before over sneaking to his house, (he will come get her) and I was disturbed as she is too young and the boys parents and grandparents allow to be out at all hours of the night and also allow him to drink at home. They also hid my daughter from me and from cops. Yesterday we went there 3x before his grandma admitted she was there. My daughter then ran in woods to get away from cop, eventually my husband found her and I had office take her into jail, i am also pressign charges against homeowner as they have no right to hide my daughter there. Now, has anyone dealt with similar situation? Do not know how to help her.

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:41 AM on Aug. 2, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (25)
  • You can always send her to a Military school. I really have no advice for you other than that. I think pressing charges on them is the right thing to do. But I don't see her stopping what she is doing. Do you know why she maybe acting out? Has something happen in her life?

    Answer by lil_Army_Wife05 at 9:48 AM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • what you are doing is obviously not helping, how were you when you were 15?

    Answer by older at 9:53 AM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • I don't have any advice, I only have the 5 year old, but I wanted to tell you good luck. I've seen my mom go through this with my brother for about 7 or 8 years now and I've seen what it's done to her.
    I hope you get the advice you're looking for.

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 9:57 AM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • I actually never left home without permission to drink and be with my boyfriend, rare i know, and my daughter has no right to do as she pleases she is a child and obviously not making good decisions, and any other parent who actually cares what their child does, would not hide another child from his/her mother. This is not the first time she has done this and probably not her last but I did let her know this is not acceptable and will never be acceptable behavior. I am trying to keep her safe, the boyfriend has numerous girlfriends and no consequences for his behavior but I do have rules and expectations for her. As for military school , i never thought of that, i will look into it, seems when it comes to this boy she gets totally sidetracked and is having trouble with his other girlfriends now wanting to fight her. her dad and i divorced when she was 9 and other than that, nothing major.

    Answer by MS5909 at 10:00 AM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • Sounds like typical teenage rebellion. I don't see why you got the cops involved, unless she is a danger to herself or others. Despite what you may here your juvenile record does follow you throughout your life.

    Answer by queen.bee at 10:07 AM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • Cops were involved as family of boy were hiding her, I was scared as I was not 100% sure where she was and in dealing with this family before, I needed to know where my daughter was, at this point she was gone from home from 10:20 pm to 6 pm the next day. i have tried the grounding, taken cell phone, and internet so getting cops involved and having her locked up is my last resort, to have a child in jail, it hurts, I cried when they were taking her but I did not know what else to do. There are many parents in my commumity who allow their teenagers to drink, be gone from home for days at a time, but I am not one on them. She is also in counseling as she said she might need it so i set her up with that and she says she does find it helpful, so i am praying this time she learns her lesson, school is starting soon and hopefully that will distract her as she goes to a charter school 30 miles away,

    Answer by MS5909 at 10:23 AM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • If she is a teen, then you SHOULD get the cops involved if she is a run away! Tough love is the hardest to dole out, but you have to keep on her or she will just get worse. Let her know everytime she runs away you will drag her ass back. Teens are NOT the voice of reason, she NEEDS limitations. If she wants some freedome and responsibility, then make her EARN them! You are doing the right thing. Get the cops involved when it comes to the parents of this boy...they are contributing to the deliquency of a minor! They should be held accountable. Good luck!

    Answer by salexander at 10:32 AM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • I have to disagree with the pp in saying it is typical teen behavior. Typical, no way. I have a 17 you dd and she has never done that neither have any of her friends. It is wise to get the cops involved because that just so wrong for that family to hide your kid. Couldn't that be kidnapping? I am sorry you are going through this and really have no advice other than to stand your ground and love her when she is the most unlovable. Maybe changing schools or getting her away from him is the best bet. Good luck and keep us posted.

    Answer by wallmom1 at 11:02 AM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • You did a good thing by getting the police involved. I can't imagine how tough that was for you, and I'm so sorry. Hopefully once she starts school she will be focused on other things, but could you also get her into some counseling? Teens are rebellious, but this seems way over the "normal" line.

    Answer by Scuba at 11:16 AM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • Good for you for taking the situation seriously and getting the police involved. I agree this dosent sound like typical teenage rebellion. I have 3 teens. Is she going to have a court date? Some states will put teens on probation in cases like this where they can be watched and if they dont follow your guidelines they can be placed out of the home. Here is a great hotline for issues like this that may be able to have some better resources for you Its the boystown national hotline, they place kids from all over the country and help parents with all sorts of questions. 1-800-448-3000

    Answer by okmommy08 at 12:12 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

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