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Is this unreasonable for her to ask?

My husband an I have not taken a vacation in 5 years alone without the kids. So we asked Grandma if she could watch them for us for 2 days. said she would but she wanted to be paid. They are not hurting financially. My father-in-law makes $20+ an hour. And they have never asked for payment before. And she also found out that my grandfather butched a few cows and we were able to buy a half of beef for ourselves as our meat this winter and she said why don't you bring 5 pounds or so for me to try. My kids are 5 and under so its not like they eat a whole lot. so is it unreasonable for us to pay grandma?

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Asked by motherwanting6 at 9:46 AM on Aug. 2, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 11 (621 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • I would see if there's something else behind it.

    Answer by nicolemstacy at 9:48 AM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • I think it is.

    Answer by older at 9:50 AM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • that is CRAZY! My mother nor mother in law have ever asked for money! Its not unreasonable for YOU to pay...but it was for HER to ask! i could see she ask that you leave money if they were to take the kids out somehwere but really to watch them 2 days! I would have your husband talk to her! unless you are like me and you would like to confront her yourself! that is just nuts! and to ask for 5 pounds for 2 days again maybe 1 pound! i would deff have a talk with her and just to spite her as someone else! Im sure a friend would do it for free!!!

    Answer by babymaddy at 9:51 AM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • Paying a grandma to watch kids doesn't sound right to me. I would give her a couple of pounds to try, maybe she is just curious.

    Answer by queen.bee at 9:51 AM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • If I go out of town, and my mother keeps my 6 year old, (she 6 now but my mother has kept her often when leave on business or a trip with older kids) I usually leave some sort of payment, which my mother usually uses to take my daughter out to a movie, dinner or shopping, she don't ask but being my mother is not getting any younger I always offer. My father also earns good pay and they also by gifts for my girls year round so it is just a gesture on my part that I know is appreciated and only when i go out of town and my daughter can stay for a few hours if I run errands and thats not a big deal.

    Answer by MS5909 at 9:53 AM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • That's sad! I'd rather pay a NON relative to watch my children instead of a relative that wanted to be paid!! I have no use for petty family members.

    Answer by LoriKeet at 9:54 AM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • I think in this situation it is. I can understand that she would be watching them day and night but they don't sound like they need the money. And telling you to bring five pounds of meat to her to "try" is rude IMO. That food can go a long way in your house. This is just me but I would probalby just forget the whole thing. I would not be able to relax and enjoy myself knowing grandma was so inconvenienced that she had to be paid and was demanding I bring her meat.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 9:57 AM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • I have never asked to be paid for watching my grandkids, even when it was every day when my dd worked. Of course, my dd always brought over their food and drinks and a lot of times treated us for dinner too. I'm wondering why your in-laws all of a sudden want money?

    Answer by lizard111 at 9:58 AM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • Honestly, I don't think either of you are wrong. A lot of grandparents watch their grandkids for free. But, even though you've not taken a vacation before, do they babysit for you a lot otherwise (you said they never asked before...)

    I know that you said that he makes a good pay, but with this economy, is it possible that maybe he's not making what he used to, or that they've lost a lot of their retirement and they're afraid for their future, and they're too proud to say so?

    Them asking to be paid, and asking you to provide food, all sounds like there might be a problem there that they're too proud to tell you about.

    I would either be nice about it and pay them, or ask a friend if they can stay with them (and sort of "swap weekends" - taking care of their kids so they can go away sometime, too) - and tell grandparents that a friend asked to swap weekends with you so they could get a break too.


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 10:00 AM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • Just because they are grandparents doesnt make them built in baby sitters! You should respect that she want to be paid if you want your children to be watched by her.

    Answer by SabrenaLeigh at 10:04 AM on Aug. 2, 2010

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