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In your opinion,how much of a child's behavior is indicative of his/her parent's discipline strategy?

My neice and nephew are holy terrors! The boy has autism like my son,and the girl has no learning disability as far as we know. They let the boy do whatever he wants,to whoever he pleases. We met them out for lunch yesterday and i was so embarrassed! My nephew was filthy dirty,and my neice's hair was a fright. Their excuse was that they just woke up(whatever) My nephew was smacking his sister in the face,pulling her hair,and screaming!! The parents just sit there,or start yelling,but don't make them behave. My neice will purposely egg her brother on so he gets in trouble.The boy is almost 6,and the girl is almost 8. I've always insisted that my son behave where we go,and yesterday he was a perfect gentleman.Our forecast for these kids isn't a good one if they don't get them under control pronto! Needless to say,we avoid meeting them in public places!


Asked by butterflyblue19 at 10:35 AM on Aug. 2, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 50 (383,297 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • In your situation, it sounds like a lot of the behavior problems are due to the parents' lack of discipline. I understand that all children go through phases when they don't listen and act out, but if you start out teaching them what is expected and what the consequences are when they misbehave, then they learn to behave themselves. As for being filthy, that's totally up to the parents to make sure the kids are clean, especially if they're going out to meet people. Sounds like the parents are having some issues themselves.

    Answer by ceallaigh at 10:37 AM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • When there younger and still learning how to react to things and how to handle certain situations I feel like the parents set the example and the kids run with it. This is why my husband and I will be homeschooling our children because we feel like kids arent disaplined how they should be now days and get away with murder now so we choose to keep our children away from that bad behavior.

    Answer by LANDENSMOMMYlmk at 10:38 AM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • Most of it. I think there are some extreme cases where a child may be untameable but I think it is extremely rare. Most children will respond to positive discipline and training from their parents. Too many today are taking the attitude that there is nothing they can do, and in truth, they haven't even tried.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:58 AM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • In my opinion the parents are the biggest influencer's of their children's behavior. It starts when they are extremely young (babies). You have to give them a good foundation at that point in time. I see this in my Bkids and Skids. I have always encouraged my Bkids from the time they were very small that they can achieve anything and as they went into school I encouraged them to do the absolute best they could and they have, sports, accelerated classes and excellent grades. My Bkids on the other hand are constantly told that they can't do this and can't do that along with being taught the logic of "You can be smart even if you do not get good grades." BM exact words! My Bkids only do what they have to to get by. My SS is barely passing school and his sister barely graduated and has a hard time holding a job.

    Answer by marchar2002 at 11:14 AM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • I agree with you, my kids (now grow) were terrors at home but in public they were the perfect little angels.

    Answer by older at 1:01 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • ALOT! I think if you hit all the time, they will hit, I think if you talk ill of others they will too, I think if you love God and help others they will too! Everything you do will change how your child developes!

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 1:26 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • i know that there are organizations out there to help teach parents how to deal with autistic children... maybe they have given up trying and just need some extra support.
    Try looking into what's available in your area and drop a hint for them

    Answer by elizabiza at 10:44 AM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • In some cases yes, some cases no. In your case it sounds like absolutely. I agree with a few posts back, some said drop some hints about a support group. Maybe you can find a positive parenting work shop in your area too. If you don't know how to bring it up nicely I would tell her you are going yourself and thought she'd like to come along.

    Answer by Jessica157 at 11:10 AM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • Unless the child has special needs, I would say a child's behavior is a complete reflection on the parents. There are even ways to teach special needs children appropriate behavior. Children are going to attempt to pick up bad habits from daycare, school, and other public settings, but its the parents' sole responsibility to correct the behavior. IMO, a parent is doing their child a disservice by allowing him/her to be inappropriate. The child will grow up not knowing how to act in social situations and will probably be faced with many hardships when he/she has to learn things 'the hard way'.


    Answer by kenzie07 at 3:52 PM on Aug. 2, 2010