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My son needs help and I have no idea how to help him

My son is 8 years old and in the third grade, however he is in jeopardy of being retained. This has been a problem for a few years but I thought if I worked with him enough and gave him extra help, he would catch up and be ok. It never seems to the beginning of the school year, his teacher will tell me he is behind and might be held back, but by the end of the year, he will catch up just enough to move forward. I wish I had went with my gut and held him back when he was younger, but now he is older and it will be hard to do that now. I cant afford a tutor, but cant afford to do nothing. I have had him tested for all types of learning disorders, but they say he is ok, but just needs to apply himself. HELP??

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Asked by momylovesjo at 6:55 AM on Oct. 4, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (10)
  • Keep encouraging him, tell him how proud you are that he is trying his best, if you are negative he will fall hard and not care just to despite you. Have you looked into free tutoring, or is there a free program at his school? Is he just not applying himself or does he truely not get it. Do you do his homework, with him or for him? When I was in elementary school I had a problem learning and it was because my mom did everything for me, my homework, answered for me when someone would ask a question and I was behind in all aspects. In highschool I started doing my own work and really tried to succeed, maybe your kid just needs to grow out of this somehow ? Do you have time to work with him a little bit daily?

    Answer by MeganMack at 7:08 AM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • I would keep helping and encouraging him as well. I would also look into keeping him back this year. You do not want him to keep struggling every year to the point that he starts to dislike school or he starts to want to quit.

    I would still work with him at home and see if there is in school help. I know that in my school kids that need extra help can get it in school and it does not cost anything to you. We have resource teachers and they will pull kids out of school. We also have aids in the room that will help. I would definately go to the principal and see if there is any help they can give him.

    Good Luck

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 7:19 AM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • I agree with the great answer that Cornflake submitted. Another thing that could be explored is to find a highschool girl or boy to help him with his homework. Sometimes they learn better with help from others that are not their parents. Also talk with him alot about what is going on at school such as: Do you like your teacher? What are your classmates like? Which ones do you have lunch with? - There could be other things happening to make him dislike school. Good luck.

    Answer by lucy2009 at 8:59 AM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • It sounds like he might backslide more than the average kid each summer. All students loose some of what learned over the summer.  Some more then others.  Next summer see if you can find a summer program to enroll him in. Also work with him daily over the summer to keep up his reading skills. Then when school starts he will still be on track.


    Answer by MAUREEN55 at 11:46 AM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • I agree with the answer about summer programs. When I was going to school, our district had low cost/free summer school programs. My mom made me always take one class in the area I had the most problems and one class strictly for fun. Since half of it was something I chose I didn't mind going. It really helped out. I know some school districts still do this because my sister has been doing this for her stepdaughter for years now. She went from C/D grades to B+/A and really enjoys school now.

    Answer by lasfl at 2:50 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • hi, well I think that if u show im that ur intrested in his learning ,and tell him how proud u are of him. also I did the same with my son and like u at first i felt bad ,but know I'm glad I did .his now in high school and doing much consider whats best for him

    Answer by littebritelight at 6:25 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • ask the school if they have any ideas. our schools pre thru 12 all offer free after school tutoring. it is optional if you are passing a class but mandatory if you are failing it. we also have college students who are going to school to be a teacher that do tutoring for free, it started by a mom calling the school and asking if they offered it (they said no) and then she asked if she could post a notice somewhere where those students would see it. It worked great and looks great on a resume since it shows experience.

    Answer by vbongard at 9:53 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • Let go of your bad feelings about him being held back. So he'll be one year older than the other kids in his class. Big deal. He'll also gain confidence, he'll understand things better, and feel better about himself and better prepared for the next grade when the time comes.

    Answer by McGregor at 9:56 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • Just encourage him to do his best. Give him an award of some type to work for....I mean in real life when we work ...we do a good job in hopes of that raise. Also I would look into maybe a older highschool student or even a college student looking to make a little cash....much cheaper then a tutor and sometimes kids relate to them well. My middle son tutored a friends child with her algerbra last year and it helped her alot....Maybe you have a friend with an older child that would be willing. Sometimes easier then the parent doing listen better. Sounds like maybe your child maybe forgets some over summer...maybe a tutor in the summer would be a good choice.

    Answer by Deb128 at 9:51 AM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • Summer programs are great. Our school offers it and the kids go. My son was retained for 1st grade. Best thing I ever did. He is now just at grade level and still struggles, but he gets by. I know how frustrated you feel. I have bought the JumpStart software. The 3rd grade is about robots and stuff, but they learn and think it's fun too. There are also lots of websites, including ones for the schoolbooks your kids use. We use the Houghton-Miffin spelling website every week.

    Answer by KidsHelper at 8:32 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

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