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sick of everything...

I'm really sick of my everyday life. My husband is lazy and does not work which means that while i went to school full time i also had to work full time so my GPA suffered. Now i'm out of school, he still doesn't work and I can't find a job in my field so I'm working full time in a shit hole job that I have no hope for being able to pay rent, utilities, and student loans with. He constantly complains about not having money to go out and have fun but "cant get a job because it causes him too much stress". On top of this my son is well in his terrible 2's and throws fits all day which makes me looking for a job while my husband sleeps all day even more difficult. I can't get help from my mom or mother in law bc they are busy with their own lives. I find myself yelling at my son bc i hate my day to day routine and now he won't take a nap so I can't even get a break at all! I love him but everything is getting too stressful!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:23 PM on Aug. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • leave his sorry a$$, you'll have less stress living on your own without him telling you how worthless you are for not making enough money to serve his agenda. what a piece!
    angevil53

    Answer by angevil53 at 1:26 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • He needs to get over that "stress" junk and deal with it. Tell him to get a job.
    Darkdevinity

    Answer by Darkdevinity at 1:27 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • I'm sorry. It sounds like you're taking on a LOT, and it's not fair that your husband isn't helping. I'm not sure what advice to give, but I hope your situation gets better soon. :)
    LovingSAHMommy

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 1:30 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • my sister had to kick her man to the curb because she was also doing everything herself with 3 kids and bills. He went to school while she worked and when she kicked him out, it was the best thing she did. its been almost a year and i hear he still has no job and living with daddy. Her life got better and she met someone who already had a job and no kids but he helps when he can.

    a job can not wait forever, my dear.

    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 1:33 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • It sounds like he is depressed- ask him to go to counseling, and if he refuses, go without him. There's no shame in it, but you will need to learn how to deal with all of this and how to sort out your feelings.
    musichollie

    Answer by musichollie at 1:35 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • Yup.... its time for him to put up or shut up. Your giving it all...and he's just taking. I would lay it on the line for him...and let him know what the consequences are if he does not start helping you and start looking for a job. If he does not make steps quickly...you should consider leaving. Continuing like that is not healty for you or your little one.
    texasmom010409

    Answer by texasmom010409 at 1:38 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • Throw him out.
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 1:54 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • You shouldnt have to be doing this all by yourself. I cant imagine all of the stress you are having to face. I would tell him he has so many days to find a job because this is just to much on you. He shouldnt be sleeping all day he should be out looking for jobs. I would tell him that you feel like a single parent already so if you have to make that transition you could. If you ddid get rid of him he would have to get off his butt and find a way to support himself and have child support! I understand about student loans remember you can always file for a deferment or a forebearance if you are having trouble paying.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 2:02 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • It can be scary reading everyone's answers saying throw him out right? Doing this all on your own as a "single mother" but honestly do you feel married anymore? Personally, what I would do is sit him down and show him its time to be an adult. If I were in this situation, I would put Jr down for a nap, and when he final dozes off, grab some old photos you have of him and sit your husband down to reminisce of when he was first born and then the first few years of his life, ooh and awe at how big he is now and then simply and calmly explain to him that that little boy in those pictures, (Who is smiling and happy, not screaming) needs a father. Needs someone to support him not only financially but emotionally and you alone are not enough. Then pull out your wedding pictures and explain to him that that women needs her husband back, that your done raising two children, and if he doesn't comply, then you will be forced to leave him.
    TruthfullyBlunt

    Answer by TruthfullyBlunt at 2:06 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • Continued: I sympathies with you and I hope that everything turns out in your favor. Its hard to go through such a hurtful time like you are, but you are being strong and your being the best mother you can be right now. Please remember that this is not your sons fault and you should not take it out on him. It confuses him which is causing him to act out more. (he gets more attention that way since you are so busy right now). When you feel as you are going to snap at him for no reason, just remember, he is only a child. An innocent child who does not understand the concept of money or jobs, he just wants unconditional love and affection. Maybe to get your "break" that you need from all this, take your son to the park and just play with him. There you can let the fresh air surround you, you have quality time with your son, and its free so the stress of finances it long behind you. Enjoy the sun mom... you deserve it. :)
    TruthfullyBlunt

    Answer by TruthfullyBlunt at 2:13 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

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