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19 Bumps

Husband is still in contact with the Other Woman

In february, I found out my husband of almost three years (no kids together) was having an emotional affair with a old girlfriend from high school that he tracked down on facebook. I went through his emails. There were well over 600 emails between them. His cell phone averaged 500 messages a day between them. I found out on his emails that they went on a few dates and he said he never knew kissing could make him feel like that. He said he feels like a god when he's with her. He said that he loves her on these messages so many times it makes me sick to my stomach.

When I confronted him he admitted to everything but he said there was no sex, from some emails i believe it. I told him if he wanted to keep our marriage he was going to have to cut her off delete her info everything. He said ok.

Well its august and i just found today he still keeps contact with her. what do i do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:42 PM on Aug. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (52)
  • Kick his lying, cheating ass to the curb!

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 2:43 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • There is a reason he didn't marry her, perhaps you should remind him of that. He needs to chose.

    Answer by Misteh at 2:44 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • Separation time. If and when he's ready and able to let go of her,he can fight to win you back. This is totally unacceptable.

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 2:44 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • You need to think to yourself Do I deserve to be with someone who treats me like this? Put your foot down or keep the blinders on GL

    Answer by Truelove77 at 2:45 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • I would say tell him that was the last straw, honestly. If he kissed her, then it WAS physical and more than likely, it would have (or will) eventually move to more than kissing. You're hubby is involved in a full-on affair. There is no beating around the bush on that one. He had his chance and he lost it.

    I am so sorry for you, really. I can only imagine how difficult it must be to be in your situation. You do deserve better than that (no one deserves to be cheated on that way).

    Answer by mickstinator at 2:46 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • you have to follow through on your promise to leave if he was contacting her again
    you have to do this for yourself
    if he is ever to respect you, he needs to know that you are not going to accept being 2nd place

    if he comes to his senses and begs you back, then deal with that then
    but if he does not-you are better off without him

    you do not sound like a woman who will accept being 2nd place
    a woman who can pretend her life is what it is not

    you are strong, you acan tell from your post
    good luck, you will be fine, but it will suck for a while (sorry, it will) but remember you are strong and when things are hardest, iamgine how yourlife will be 6 months from now
    also remember a hard time in the past, how hard it was then, but how smal it seems now-know you were strong then and will be again

    Answer by fiatpax at 2:47 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • You should have told her at the same time you told him to stop. If you really want to scare the crap out of him, invite her over for dinner! He may be lying to you both so getting with her and facing him together might help you both figure out what the truth is.

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:48 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • Tell hi there is the door, NOW GET YOUR SH!T AND GET F*CUK OUT!

    Answer by DeeMarie87 at 2:48 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • let him be. you be confident and cut him off. He'll look for that other girl then realize shes not everything he thought she would be and he'll come back and your stuck if you still want him or not

    Answer by canucha at 2:48 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • The only way to heal from something like this is for him to have no contact with her. He clearly isn't ready to do that, I would move to separate. The emotional affair (even though I think kissing takes it a little beyond that) in itself isn't necessarily a dealbreaker, but continuing contact? Completely over the line.

    Answer by Scuba at 2:49 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

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