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how do you spice it up when its getting boring???

need your help its been a yr leaning to live with he cheated and sex its not there is it me???

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canucha

Asked by canucha at 3:34 PM on Aug. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (37 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I wasn't able to do it well.. when he cheated.
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 3:39 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • Get a divorce and find someone new! Sorry not good advice but I've been in a man hating mood lately.
    fairyinabubble

    Answer by fairyinabubble at 3:40 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • If he cheated it is not your fault. There were several other avenues or roads he could have taken to let you know something was wrong before cheating. I understand it is hard getting over and learning to live with. If you said its a year and your still dealing. That is understandable...Its hard to not think about that other person when you are having sex or wondering if they are thinking about someone else or if the other person did something better than you can do/did it. You need to be candid open and honest and let him know how you feel. Then slowly build back a loving, intimate and romantic relationship. With all this said you need to both be on board and sure of your relationship and the path you want it to take.
    maggiebella25

    Answer by maggiebella25 at 3:45 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • Boredom has never been a problem in our marriage. I simply have a hard time knowing how you can become bored with the one person who still has mysteries to be explored and greater depths to be known. The longer we are together, the better life gets. We are still learning new things about each other, and this after 45 years, 6 months or marriage. We've had problems, as everyone does, but boredom has never been among them.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:46 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • I say drink a margarita.
    tryin2BGOOD

    Answer by tryin2BGOOD at 3:47 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • It can be difficult moving past unfaithfulness in a relationship, BUT it CAN be done... and your relationship CAN heal and become much stronger and MUCH better once you do.

    My Husband cheated on me once before we married and twice after we married and we are STILL together. Been together 18+ years and married 16+ years and still counting.

    You cannot look at it as "getting over it", because you never REALLY get over it.... BUT you can CHOOSE to forgive, CHOOSE to trust, and ALLOW yourselves to move past it. BUT in doing so you must realize that the past is the past and decisr to leave it where it belongs... IN THE PAST.

    You don't FORGET... you simply forgive and put it away.

    How do you do that????? You talk.... and you talk.... and then you talk some more.

    You do NOT accuse, argue, fight, or throw it back in his face... you just talk until you are finished talking and realize that one day... it's over. next post.......
    Crimsonia

    Answer by Crimsonia at 4:12 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • Over and done, and in the past where it belongs.

    I know it's a lot harder than it sounds, but it is possible.

    Think of your marriage as a wound or broken bone.... it hurts like crazy. You can cut off the injured limb or you can try to heal it. It takes a long time to heal and can be very painful, but once it DOES heal, there will be a scar left behind that gives evidence to the fact that there was once an injury. However, where that scar is showing... in the very spot where the injury or break existed... the skin or bone is MUCH stronger.

    That's how the body works and it does so to better protect that place... A broken marriage can heal too and it works just the same... There will always be the emotional scars, but in time, as the relationship heals, the scars become less evident, and the relationship is MUCH stronger as a result of those scars, because of the CHOICE you made to heal it, rather than just cutting it away.
    Crimsonia

    Answer by Crimsonia at 4:20 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • As to how to spice things up? That would depend on your sexual appetites.

    You two could try some role play...

    Maybe Doctor/patient... Let him give you an examination. Try to discover what it is that causes you to keep leaking that creamy white stuff from your most private/intimate places.

    Perhaps he could pretend to be a scientist with a very important experiment and you... his "lab rat"... He must explore every inch of your body... inside AND out... to discover what makes you "tic".

    How about Teacher/student... were you a really bad girl in class???? What punishment does he determine you deserve since you refused to help him demonstrate how to give a BJ for the whole class.

    Police officer/prisoner.... did you truly witness that crime?.. or.. were you the perp... the mastermind?... What sort of interrogation technique will it take to get you to "spill your guts" or better yet... "spill your juices" all over the place?
    Crimsonia

    Answer by Crimsonia at 4:32 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • i agree with crimsonia
    3xangel

    Answer by 3xangel at 8:13 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

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