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21 yr old daughter is pregnant

She is 9 1/2 weeks pregnant and will not tell me exactly where she lives. All of his family knows, but for some strange reason she will not tell me. She has said that they plan on moving in together, so that is not the issue. She gets real upset when I ask her. I have told her that I am proud of her for being able to move out on her own and having her first apartment. I've told her that it really hurts me that she will not allow me to share that with her. It kills me that it is HIS parents and other family members are the ones that come to her house and I can't. I don't understand why it is his family that has been buying a baby crib, stroller, the little bouncy thing, baby bottles etc...and I am left out. It breaks my heart that my baby girl would do me this way. I just can't figure out what she is hiding, or if it is him that does not want to include us. I get along with him so I don't think it is that. What is your thought?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:09 PM on Jun. 29, 2008 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (15)
  • My heart goes out to you. I can't imagine my baby girl doing that to me. She is hiding something for sure. Maybe she feels you won't agree with her lifestyle. Thankfully she is early in the pregnancy, you have time to build up the trust she, for whatever reason, has lost. My stongest suggestion is to pray! Just let her know that you love her and want the best for her whatever that may be. As mom's I think it is our job to just want our adult children to be happy. And if that isn't in the cards then we just have to be there for them no matter what.
    Let go and let God. You know she loves you.

    Answer by FLHippyMom at 3:23 PM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • I'm so sorry to hear that. THat breaks my heart. Just make sure and tell her you love her and want to support her as much as she will let you.

    Answer by mca_parkers at 4:36 PM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • I'm thinking there's a very long backstory to this. Healthy mother-daughter relationships don't go like that. You two need to resolve whatever so you can go on to have a healthy relationship with your grandchild. If she's shutting you out, you likely did something along the way to hurt her, and now that she's an adult she can do something about it. Work on healing the wound....

    Answer by halfpint_ny at 4:50 PM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • something doesn't sound right... Why would she SUDDENLY cut you out of her life if you get along with her boy friend and with her... this makes no sense. I can't answer without more info. Obviously, she has a good reason, even if only in her mind.

    I have a son who is cutting me out of his life, but that is due to his wife... she has cut him off from EVERYONE in his family and friends. All I can do is love him and wait.

    If I were you, I would buy baby stuff, give her support and keep loving her. She'll come around.

    Answer by Keriokeeee at 6:37 PM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • I would love to know her side of the story, sounds like there was something from the past, and also me and my husband were cut out of his mothers life because she couldnt handle letting go of him so she still tried to run his life and when she couldnt she gave him the ultmatum either me and our baby or her and he picked the right two people. There is always two sides to everything

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:46 PM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • My question is that if she is only 9 1/2 weeks pregnant, why would you buy all that stuff.. isnt that a little early?

    Anyways. There must be something in the past that is keeping her from telling you and sorry but it sounds a bit odd that she wont tell you where she lives..

    Answer by Cmyfantasyworld at 7:10 PM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • My first two thoughts were..what's the unresolved history...and perhaps she is far more than 9 weeks pregnant. I agree with the poster that thinks 9 weeks is terribly early to start buying cribs and such. ...something smells like 3 day old fish here.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 7:24 PM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • Well, there's 2 sides to every story. There must be SOME underlying condition that makes her feel nervous about getting too close with you right now. I'm sorry you're going through all of that and I hope you guys can get your issues resolved soon so you can have a great relationship with your grandchild!

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 7:48 PM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • yeah she's only 9 1/2 weeks lol she does'nt need you yet but she will.

    Answer by Ashton3108 at 8:20 PM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • My thoughts are that she has issues she needs to work out on her own. She loves you. She will come to you when she is ready. Be there for her when she does.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:18 AM on Jun. 30, 2008

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