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How to help a friend when her religion is standing in her way?

My friend (yes really my friend) called me today and informed me that her husband is accusing her of cheating because we went to our 10 year class reunion this weekend. He decided he didn't want to go but since she went anyway that means that she cheated on him. He goes out every weekend for the whole weekend without her. He has also accused her of cheating before because she was out with a friend, he has cheated on her and has also hit her numerous diffrent times in the past. She said she will not divorce him because it is against her religion and she just needs to find a way to change.

How can I help her realize that she shouldn't be in this situation and the image that she is setting for her daughter isn't a good one either? What can I do?


Asked by Juggalette0327 at 4:40 PM on Aug. 2, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 15 (2,075 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (23)
  • There are catholic church run shelters for abused women they are run by nuns. Maybe if she went and talked to some of them about it it could help her.

    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 12:07 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • See I don't suffer fools very well. I would not be kind about it.

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 4:48 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • I am Catholic, and the Church does not expect women to stay with men who are abusive. Maybe if she talks to a priest and he tells her that, she will consider leaving. I think the strongest argument may be that she is teaching her daughters that they must put up with this treatment themselves someday. She is teaching her sons that it is acceptable for men to treat their wives this way. It sounds like she has some wrong ideas about what the Catholic Church teaches. I don't think the Baptists prohibit divorce, so I don't think that is where she is getting this. It might do some good to try to talk to her again. You may save her life.

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 9:21 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • Take her to a shelter of battered women and show her by letting these women tell their stories, tell her also if she is willing to loose her life for her religion?

    Answer by older at 4:42 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • I have to say that I think it is harsh to call abused women fools. It's easy enough to say, but we don't know the other details of her situation. She is saying that her religion is the reason she won't leave. She may also think that she is unable to support the family on her own. She may know that statistics show that she is in the most danger when she does leave. I do think that leaving him is the best thing she can do, but I would want to have a little more compassion for a woman in this situation.

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 9:24 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • she cant change him.

    Answer by anabele at 4:48 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • she needs to go see a professional who deals with abuse
    if she does not
    you could ask cafemom profile name________, she told one woman on here the other day, that her husband's anger and abuse was her doing, worst advise i have ever read on here

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:48 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • I agree with older.
    See if she can talk to some other women in this position and have them try to talk some sense into her. Some people just don't change.
    Find some pictures of women beaten to death, ask her if she wants her daughter to walk in and find her like that some day.

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 4:49 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • There is nothing you can do. If she doesnt want to help herself, then she will not take the blinders off. She will never change him, he doesnt want to. Many women have died because they wouldnt leave, the most you can do is call the cops everytime you see the bruises. If he goes after her daughter is the time that you need to step in completely, if she wont protect her own child................... GRRRR. I have a friend that was killed by her loving husband, they didnt have any kids but it still gets to me.

    Answer by browningmom at 4:49 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • See I don't suffer fools very well. I would not be kind about it.
    Yep ... I'll second that ...

    I honestly feel like slapping people when I hear "I can't because my religion won't allow it."

    Grow a pair and think for yourself already!!!


    Answer by SpiritedWitch at 5:49 PM on Aug. 2, 2010