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When is it time to call it quits 2

I just wanted to add this bc I ran out of room on the other post. But I do still love my husband. I feel horrible even thinking about leaving him but sometimes I feel like personally I would be a happier person without him. I rarely am allowed to go places, like if I wanted to have a girls night out, its a huge arguement. I feel like he just acts really insecure like hes scared that another guy will look at me. Even though I have NEVER cheated or done wrong to him, but his ex did.. I just feel like a child. I feel like Im stuck. I dont want to be the one who stays and tries over and over to make it work, but in the end I feel like it might be time wasted..

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:06 PM on Aug. 2, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • If you decide to leave, that doesn't mean things can't be worked on while you are gone. Maybe he will 'get it', ya know? This isn't healthy for you, or your child. Sometimes it's better for a child to be brought up in a happy single parent home then a very unhappy dual parent home. Constant fighting and negative crap makes the kids very anxious and have their own host of problems. It's a bad situation. Try the therapy. If your hubby won't go, tell him to go or get out. If he wants a family, he has to work at having a family. It takes work, any good family man will tell you that. If he can't do that, then you don't need him. But, if you leave, and it ends with a divorce, that doesn't mean later on down the road he can't change and work on himself. That doesn't mean you can't one day be a family again. But you have to first stand up for yourself and your kiddo.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 5:19 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • You should seek a family therapist, not counselor, but a therapist, someone who has their PhD. They are the best at connecting past events with the present. They know best how the brain processes things, what to do to mediate. IMO Try at least one session. That way you can make it an ultimatum. He goes to the counselor or you're gone.
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 5:08 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • as raine said, a home with 2 fighting parents can lead to problems down the line for the kids. and this is true. i grew up in a very volatile situation with my parents constantly fighting. I am now in therapy of my own trying to deal with my own ways of over compensating to try to make sure my marriage and family don't fall into that same mess. it was the norm for me then. and now because of their selfishness i have to deal with my past and how it is affecting me now.
    xtwilightx

    Answer by xtwilightx at 5:27 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • And it will be time wasted unless you do something about it.
    DesertRose75

    Answer by DesertRose75 at 5:07 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • To me it sounds like a very un-healthy relationship that is not good for either of you. I suggest some counseling, and if he refuses then perhaps get some therapy on your own. Every relationship has it's ups and downs, but the joke about marriage being a prison sentence is just that, a joke. You have no freedom to be yourself and his insecurities are infecting you unjustly. You need to really question what is best for all. Right now it's not working for anyone. Good luck.
    xtwilightx

    Answer by xtwilightx at 5:10 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • of course it is going to be hard for you cause you love him but if you have no freedom in going out with your friends then do what is right for you
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 5:19 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • If you are angry enough to post a question you are angry enough to want to leave his SORRY ASS.
    Do it make your point.
    FIND YOUR HAPPINESS
    BE FREE OF THE MALE SEX!!!
    newathis918

    Answer by newathis918 at 5:12 PM on Aug. 2, 2010