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Family Crisis

I just bumped into my best friend,(22) at the supermarket and she told me something i didnt want to hear. she told me that her little brother,(age 8) told their mother that her father has been touching their little sister,(age 7). Their mother tried to approach her daughter to ask her if it was true. Everytime the little girl Yells ITS NOT TRUE LEAVE ME ALONE! Her mother believes it. i mean why would she lie? Her mother is starting toworrie about where she will live, and how she will do it by her self.. any advice for how to go about this situation?

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Asked by ladiesfirst at 11:21 AM on Oct. 4, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 7 (191 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • The little girl may be lying to her mother. From what I understand, molesters generally threaten the person they are molesting that no one will believe them, or something bad will happen to them or to someone they care about, or something like that. So, she may be afraid and be lying. On the other hand, the little boy could be lying too, in which case the family still needs some serious help, b/c that's a very big thing to come up with. I think the best way to start would be to get the little girl to her doctor, explain the concerns to the doctor, and let him/her check her out. Take it from there. I hope everything turns out ok.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 11:25 AM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • Maybe its the brother and he told his sister if she told he would blame it on Dad? You have to be very careful w/ things like this. Ask around about questions when talking to the girl. That might help get something out of her with out her knowing. Hope you get tot he truth of it.

    Answer by MONAinpa at 11:30 AM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • No brainer--she needs to contact the authorities. She is not the one to figure it all out because she is too emotionally invested in it. At the least--it is the dad she should be asking!!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:33 AM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • Am I understanding this? This is your best friend's father being accused of molesting her little sister? Oh my. You are on the outside. What does your friend think? I don't know what kind of call you could make because you've heard it 2nd hand or 3rd hand actually. Encourage your friend to get to the bottom of it. She's the adult close to the situation. She should call the authorities asap. The little girl might not necessarily be threatened by her father, but she probably loves her father and will help him keep the secret. She doesn't know better. Help your friend stand up in this situation. Feel her out and if she's worried, than I guess you should call the police yourself and explain what you know.

    Answer by YipeeLeah at 11:54 AM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • forget where she is going to live......or how she going to support herself.....she need to take the child out of harms way.....then and only then will the child say the truth...right know the child is in the same house as the "perv", she is scared and confused..... child needs out the house immediatly.!!!!

    Answer by epy108 at 11:18 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

    Legally speaking.. if she asks direct questions.. like did Daddy touch you.. then it is a LEADING question.. and can cause problems legally.
    get to a shelter.. and get a PROFESIONAL to ask the CORRECT questions.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:50 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • I agree with the 11:50 anonymous. If there is any suspicion at all, she needs to talk to a therapist, a police officer, or a doctor who are trained to ask questions and get to the bottom of things without leading a child. (Not that I would ever think a parent would do this on purpose, but the last thing any parent would need is a molester to get off the hook because they said a parent led a child with questions). What a horrible situation...but she is right to want to get away from the whole thing. The only thing I would tell the child is "You HAVE to tell the police officer the truth, you wont be in trouble and nobody will hurt mommy or anybody else...just tell the police what you know"

    Answer by kabbot01 at 9:46 AM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • how would an 8yo boy know what is going on unless he witnessed it himself? I would believe him and take the children away to find out for sure my first stop would be the emergency room at the hosp. be safe not sorry!
    And who knows, maybe something has happened to the little boy as well, or only him, children have different ways of dealing, and sometimes it is twisted.
    best of luck

    Answer by jamiebrandon at 12:36 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • :( thats so sad im crying!! Im praying its not true, but she doesnt need to worry about where she will live etc, she just has to do it! For her childrens sake, please try to talk to her, can they live with you?

    Answer by camtri3 at 12:28 AM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • I agree with jamiebrandon how would the 8yr old boy know of all this?? Kids do have a way of telling us things in crazy ways...maybe he is the one that is being hurt...and it is his way of opening up this situation. Get professional help. Did your best friend have problems with the dad ever? Best of luck to your friends family. But mostly get kids out of harms way.

    Answer by Deb128 at 9:26 AM on Oct. 6, 2008

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