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Should I file or no?

My hubby and I have been raising his daughter (who now calls me mommy) for 7 yrs however there has never been a legal agreement set in place..My worry is that if something happens to him her mother will come to get her since I have no legal right..We have discussed this but he has made no attempt to make it legal..Do I just file without him?

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sam223

Asked by sam223 at 7:41 PM on Aug. 2, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 17 (4,043 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I don't think you'd get very far trying to file without your husband's approval. Why don't you sit him down and tell him how important it is to you and ask him if he'd work with you to get it done?
    degsyuna

    Answer by degsyuna at 7:45 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • is the biological mom in the picture at all? In order for that to work she has to have no parental rights to the child and then you'd have to adopt the child. I believe that's how it works. This could be a very sensative issue for him so tread lightly. If the mother is still involved (even if it's only a birthday card once a year) you may have a fight on your hands. I know how important it is to you and why, just be careful how you say things or you could create resentments that will be hard to erase.
    Cassarah

    Answer by Cassarah at 7:51 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • I don't think you can file since you are technically not the child's legal guardian. Your husband would have to file.
    fallnangel93

    Answer by fallnangel93 at 7:52 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • He has to file, you cannot file for him.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 9:22 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • Yeah I think I already knew that just needed to vent, this is really bothering me..Her birth mom may call her once every two months (to remind her the she is her MOTHER)..This whole situation is sensative, the short is that her new hubby likes little girls..Unfortunatley by the time we got involved there was no evidence so basically he is getting away with it..The mother took the hubby side...I refuse to send her back to that house...My hubby has decided that she is never going back there and will be 18 in two years so he not concerned with her trying to take her..However as we all know alot can happen in two years and until then she is a minor...Thanks for all the help, I think I will try to talk to my hubby again about this maybe I can make him see how important this is to me and HER..
    sam223

    Comment by sam223 (original poster) at 9:43 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • Have your daughter tell her dad how she feels. If you even suspected this man has done anything to any little girl, he needs to be reported. Your daughter can also stand up in court and tell the judge what she wants. She is also old enough to hang up on her biological mother.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 12:00 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • @ tyfry7496 he actually spent time in jail for it, however the courts dropped the case because there was not enough evidence and her mother spoke against her...She had been here for 3 years before it came to light..The DA didnt push any further since she was living out of state and her dad advised he would never send her back there..She actually does not return her mothers calls when she calls when she does talk its one word answers
    sam223

    Comment by sam223 (original poster) at 12:10 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • I'm pretty sure you or your husband cannot file without the bio mothers consent
    Mom2Rylin

    Answer by Mom2Rylin at 4:35 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • If she is unwilling to give up her parental rights there is nothing you can do but pray nothing happens to your DH.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 10:15 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • Update, Thank you ladies for all your advice..Hubby came home early today DD and I sat him down and talk to him explaining in detail why we thought it best that we file legal papers..Surprising he was very happy to see that she and I were wanting this as badly as we do, we printed out the paperwork off line today and are headed to the courthouse in the morning..He felt it important enough that he is taking off of work to go take care of it. He also called the biological to inform her of what our plans are...You ladies are the best
    sam223

    Comment by sam223 (original poster) at 8:53 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

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