Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

My boy friend wants to move in.

We've only been dating for a week or so, but we've known each other for a very long time. He's been a co worker of mine for over 9 years. My kids already love him and his daughters. He has partial custody of his daughters (2 of them ages 7 and 11). I have 6 kids all of which still live at home. We have a 5 bed room 2 bathroom house (basement was converted into 2 more bed rooms with a full bath for my older boys). It's crowded already, but I could really use help with the bills. I don't know what to do. Just need a little advice. Should he move in or no?

Answer Question
 
nyraerikson

Asked by nyraerikson at 7:50 PM on Aug. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Level 6 (146 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I think a week of dating is a bit too son for my taste but since you have known him for longer maybe you could make an exception, specially if you are financially needy, but keep in mind that this might destroy an amorous relationship not ready for this step.
    older

    Answer by older at 7:53 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • Even with knowing him for so many years, only dating for one weeks is pretty quick to move in together. What happens if in a month you guys decide it was better being just friends or something. I think I would wait a while before moving him in.
    fallnangel93

    Answer by fallnangel93 at 7:53 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • If you have any doubt the answer is no and by you asking here I'd say there is doubt. Even though you guys have known each other for 9 years you now have a new dimention to your relationship and you should allow that to grow without the stress of living together. Honestly I'd give you two dating at least 6 months if not a year. That gives you two time to plan and enjoy each other. I understand financially wanting to do it, but that's not the right reasons.
    Cassarah

    Answer by Cassarah at 7:54 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • I would say, "No" - Your dating relationship is still REALLY new (even though you've known each other for longer). Moving in together will put a lot of stress on your budding relationship. Not to mention the stress & anxiety that it could cause all of your children if things don't work out. Sure, help with paying the bills seems like a good idea, but I think you've got more at stake then just your bills.
    charity987

    Answer by charity987 at 7:54 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • I would say it's too soon.
    DesertRose75

    Answer by DesertRose75 at 7:55 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • Take your time. I agree that if you are asking the question then the answer should probably be no. And it can be traumatic for the kids if you do live together and then things don't work out. Take a breath and reconsider. GL
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 7:57 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • I agree with older
    Topgunmommy

    Answer by Topgunmommy at 7:58 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • personally, be divorced myself I don't want to have anyone move into my house until I've got a ring on it, too much heartbreak for your kids if it doesn't work out
    gypsymama532

    Answer by gypsymama532 at 8:00 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • WOuld you want your daughter to move in with any gut who asked her to to save money if they'd just met? Cuz this is what you're teaching her.
    txdaniella

    Answer by txdaniella at 9:21 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • You know...The dating part is really way to soon. Its fresh and fun right now...but what if in like a few months you realize you don't like him that way ...like he has a big nose you can't stand or something? I dated this guy and he was great but I saw that he had really skinny ankles..DROVE me NUTS! I know it's hard right now with the bills and everything and you probably want a nice break. By him moving in, you are giving up way more. (Like freedom, no compromise) I say give it some time. Let him do nice things for you instead...like bring over a bag of groceries and cook dinner at your house...or fix that leaking sink. :(
    Momforhealth

    Answer by Momforhealth at 10:04 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN