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3 Bumps

how do you deal with being a maried-single mom of 2 kids?

i am a married mom..have been for 3 years. but my husband doesnt help at all with the kids. when i ask him for help he says " if you dont like it then leave but you arent taking the kids". i'm so confused on what to do and scared that if i leave he will take the kids and i wont ever be able to see them again. does anybody have any advice?

Answer Question

Asked by mama_stegeman at 8:01 PM on Aug. 2, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 3 (19 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • He's an ass, he can't take your children away from you. He has to have a good reason and it has to be proven in court... If you file for divorce first, then they will remain with you until it's final. You can set up tempory visitation, and child support with your attorney...Also if he's a control freak, thats grounds for an exparte order,(restraining order).. Get an attorney and get the ball rolling if you want out. He sounds like an idiot to me! JMO ( I have been through this, message me if you need anything!)

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 8:06 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • Is your marriage really to the point where it is unsalvagable? Or would counselling help?
    If not, What makes you think he would automatically get the kids?

    Answer by FuzNet at 8:06 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • Mine doesn't help either and it's a constant battle (although I came home from work today and he had actually washed some of the dishes, wow!), but he would never tell me to leave and he would definitely not keep my son from me. ANY man that uses that kind of threat is a coward and frankly you deserve better.

    But, I don't have any advice for you, so here's a bump.

    Answer by thatgirl70 at 8:07 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • he wont get the kids, at the VERY most he would get partial custody, unless of course you are like a drug addict, which i assume you are not. Even then if he did get full custody you would still get visitation, plus if he doesnt do anything or help with the kids, less than a week after having them and being a REAL parent he would give them back :) G.L. Mommy

    Answer by smilelovesmile at 8:07 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • I've been a married single mom of three going on 17 years. It feels more like indentured servitude. My hubby wouldn't even watch his own kids if I had something to do away from the house. I just ignore his stupid behavior now... My two older boys are 16 and 17 now so they are self sufficient, sadly our third son is 5 and will eventually figure out that his dad never did anything with him growing up. I just do what I need to do and find joy in my son and the silly things he does! Hang in there... his threats are crap and it is his way of making you feel bad...don't let him!

    Answer by WoodWitch at 8:08 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • View ImageMine would reside permantently here. Or at least until he figured out how to act.


    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 8:10 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • It sounds like an empty threat to me. If he doesn't do anything with them then he doesn't really want them. He is just trying to scare you. I agree with all the other posters. Get out and get an attorney and don't let him bully you. Take the kids and leave while he's at work!

    I would probably start documenting all the stuff you do with the kids and all the stuff he does with the kids. Like doctor's appointments, school stuff, etc. So you have some ammo in court! Just thinking ahead.

    Answer by Cindy18 at 8:11 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • thank you for all your help guys. finally someone who doesnt tell me its all in my head lol.

    Comment by mama_stegeman (original poster) at 8:13 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • That is just hurtful and disrespectful. Since he does nothing with the children he isn't a good husband or a good dad. Why does he want the kids if he doesn't want the kids? I am not an advocate for telling women to leave, but sounds like something has to change.

    Answer by mom2queenie2004 at 8:15 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • I doubt that he would really want the kids since he doesn't seem to help with them now. Who does he think is going to take care of them once you leave. That's right. Him. If it were me, I would leave and take the kids with me.

    Answer by Christina807 at 9:45 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

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