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Weird bed wetting problem....please help. 4 year old daughter.

My four year old has a bed wetting problem. We have a bed time schedule...get a drink, brush your teeth, go potty, story, HOPEFULLY sleep. But when dad is home she is up and down up and down. A million excuses why she has to get up. My tummy hurts, i want this, I want that... Always something. It stresses me out. But lately, we have gotten a set schedule. But when she gets to bed, its "my tummy hurts" so she gets up and usually poops. Then she'll lay back down and chitter chatter for usually an hour. We play her music, have tried letting her watch t.v., but the only thing that works is when her dad lays next to her bed. She doesn't want to go to sleep alone...I get it. But if one of us is not in there with her, then she wets the bed....while she is awake! She gets upset about it and knows she shouldn't wet the bed. But why does she do it? And what can I do to be more sensitive to what she needs at bedtime?

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:15 PM on Aug. 2, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (11)
  • What are you giving her to drink before bed? It's one thing about kids, don't give them anything to drink before bed or pay the consequences! I won't let my dog drink anything after 8pm, or he's up at 3am whimpering to go outside... We don't give our niece, who is 4 years old, almost 5, anything to drink after 8pm, because she will wet the bed... EVEN if she goes tinkle before bed!


    Answer by smokisses at 10:20 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • You just need to stay with her until she falls asleep. My 4yr old doesn't wet the bed but will cry if she is in bed by herself so I lay with her until she falls asleep.

    Answer by Mommyx2BG at 10:20 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • maybe to get attention? sounds like she misses dad, or maybe she is scared of a dream she had? My brother did this too at 4 bc he had a dream something was under his bed so he would be scared to get up!

    Answer by DeeMarie87 at 10:23 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • ds does this sometimes too. he is 3. i have him in underwear covered with plastic pants so it keeps alot of the pee inside. when he feels the wet he goes in to the bathroom. also he was wanting us to lay with him all the time too. so i got him a night light. i told him this is the no bad dreams light and when its on ur a big boy and dont need mommy to lay with u. it seems to help. he does come in our room at 4 am and lays on a bed of blankets on the floor. and goes back to bed. not sure if this helps

    Answer by knagsmom at 10:24 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • It's like less than half a small glass of water! I seriously didn't think it's enough to cause all this pee! And ever since Elizabeth was little...she went to bed by herself. It was "I'm ready for bed mom", but since my husband started this lay down next to her stuff...that's what it's become. And even he gets frustrated. It's like there is no time for my husband and I at the end of the night because she'll lay awak for hourse in her bed! Even if he is in there with her! I feel like she knows it is all about her and she uses it every chance she gets! I know it sounds selfish, but she is working the queen mode good at our house!

    Answer by aklebeyers at 10:24 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • Put her in a pull-up and make her stay in bed. If she pees in it, oh well, she stays in bed. It will be uncomfortable, and she will hopefully decide she doesn't like it. No more excuses. It sounds like she's in charge of bedtime right now. Let her know that she is a big girl and Daddy will not be laying in bed with her any more, then stick to that.

    Answer by 3gifts.from.god at 10:58 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • She may be having anxiety problems? I would speak to the pedi about it, they may have more insight. Is daddy in the army or something so that she doesn't get to see him very much? If she only gets to see him small amounts then I would honestly let him lay in there with her. I would want him to lay with me if I didn't get to see him often and I'm an adult. :) Maybe she is having fears of the dark and hasn't expressed it to you because she may not know how? She could be afraid to get up and go to the bathroom because if the fears? I would just work with her on it and not make it a punishment because she may just be honestly having issues with bedtime. Definately speak to the pediatrician and see what advice they can give?

    Good luck!

    Answer by Memigen at 12:06 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • No, dad just works retail so sometimes his schedule is not consistent. Thanks for the advice.

    Answer by aklebeyers at 7:51 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • try not giving her anything to drink 20mins before bed

    Answer by mmtosam06 at 4:21 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • the peeing is an attention getter... what I would do (what worked for us since my oldest LOVES to have someone in bed with her)... we talked to her about it (and at 4 i think she would get it,. that i would lay with her for 1 hour. and then regardless of asleep or not, mama has stuff to do. then we would work our way down in 10 minute time slots... so then I would hang out with her for 50 minutes, etc.

    we had to start with however long it would take her to fall asleep, but LEAVE the room before she falls alseep. So she knows that you did your part of the "job" and now she needs to do hers and lay nice and sleep.

    another thing is we took care of ALL her possible needs before bed... if she's pooping at night, i would wait for bed time unitl AFTER she has that done... just another excuse to get up. give her EVERYTHING she could need before bed, talk about it with her, and let her know that getting up is NOT an option.

    Answer by asil at 12:03 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

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