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When is enough...enough?

O.K so my Ped. said that Kaitlyn is a "trained" sleeper....meaning she only goes to sleep by me rocking her or nursing her to sleep. She tells me to nurse her and rock her until she's almost asleep & then lay her in her crib & let her cry. I went in every 5-7 mintues to try to soothe her...after about an hour of that she fell asleep & slept ALL night! Hasn't done that in 2 months. I was told to do the same thing for her naps. Kaitlyn screamed bloody murder for over an hour and would not go to sleep. I ended up getting her up and playing with her. How long should I keep going in and "soothing" her (which by the way only makes the crying worse!). How long should I let her scream before giving up? PLEASE HELP!

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Asked by DreamComeTrue08 at 1:32 PM on Oct. 4, 2008 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (13)
  • I would say if going in there and "soothing" her just makes her cry harder, then don't go in. She'll probably fall asleep much faster if you don't. She is learning that if she cries you come in and comfort her and eventually if she cries hard enough you pick her up. So don't go in and get her.

    Answer by feesharose at 1:43 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • Another thing you could try would be to just stay in there (with earplugs) and sit right beside her. Give her the comfort knowing that you are in there but don't pick her up. Let her cry herself to sleep (hence the earplugs) and read a book or something. When she gets use to you just being in there, start to move the chair further away to the door till you can actually leave. Good luck!!

    Answer by calapuls at 2:03 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • when we put our son to bed or for a nap, the "visits" are short and brief.. we also put him on his tummy to start out with, and when he's good and asleep, we roll him over, but we usually just have to pat him on his back acouple of times, and then leave..once he gets in his bed, we dont pick him up. He stays put.. he knows when he's tired, as do we, and we have been sleeping thru the night since he was about 4-5 weeks old.. he's almost 3 months now.. Good luck, how old is your DD?

    Answer by sweetscrappin at 2:08 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • i wouldnt let them cry for longer then 10 minutes.if u get up and play with them after they have been crying they will go to sleep in like 20 minutes,,

    Answer by angelairelan at 2:17 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • CIO is very harmful! I am sure every bone in your motherly body tells you it is wrong to make your child cry and leave them to do it for so long. Have you ever cried hard for 10 minutes? Now think about being left by the one that is suppose to take care of you and love you for an hour or more to cry. Not only that but you come in and just stare and pat but don't help. You can basically feel that trust and bond go right out the window. There are many other 'sleep training' books out there. Why subject your child to a method that has proof of possible harm? Try the No Cry Sleep Solution it is SO much better for mom & baby with better results.


    Answer by Anonymous at 4:24 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • Don't you just love how the judgmental people almost always appear anonymously? Funny...can't even put your name on your opinion? Well, to answer the question at hand, I agree that if she cries harder when you go in, try not going in. Crying won't hurt them, unless they start to choke and you said that you can hear her, so I'm sure that you're not going to let your child choke to death. Also, I would like to see Miss Anonymous' links to credible studies that show that CIO is harmful or that it breaks the "trust and bond", there aren't any. Just like there aren't any to support the other side either. The benefits of most parenting decisions are really just theories. So, do whatever you feel is best for your child. When your kid can put herself to bed at age 5 and Miss Anonymous is still rocking hers to sleep, you'll be

    Answer by KaroGreenly at 5:33 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • to miss anonymous...I'm doing no harm to my child! If this "no cry sleep solution" works so great then why are you afraid to let anybody know who you are? For your info...I was in her room most of the time, keeping a close eye on her, singing to her and doing everything I knew to do to comfort her. She feel asleep on her own and slept through the night

    Answer by DreamComeTrue08 at 6:14 PM on Oct. 4, 2008


    Check out this link to around 15 links to different studies stating the dangers of CIO. Please show me one that shows no damage is possible.  While many believe no harm is done with CIO the studies do not agree nor do the doctors.  Dr Ferber has back peddled in numerous articles and says he was pushed to write certain sections of his famous book.  Please feel free to do your own research but stating that CIO does not have the possibility of harm shows the lack of education on that parenting style.  Educate yourself and then decide.


    Answer by Anonymous at 6:41 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • BTW There are numerous reasons why people have to remain anonymous while answering. I would love to put my name on any of my answers. Education makes one knowledgeable not judgemental. : )


    Answer by Anonymous at 6:42 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • you go with your gut. i couldn't do that with my older child, i just couldn't take the guilt. my feeling is they are only babies for such a short time that i want to hold, love and cuddle them as much as possible. Yes, my kids are rotten, but theyare also very secure and know that i am there to take care of their needs. do what YOU feel is best and don't worry about your ped.

    Answer by myboogiewoogie at 9:57 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

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