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How do I do this?

After my thrid child,I was told that if I am able to carry the pregnancy to term there is a chance that it there is a chance it could make me a parapeligic or even kill me.Now I have beautiful children,I wouldn't trade them for the world,and I want to be able to raise them, but there is a part of me that wants more children.I am on an IUD currently but I hate it and the way it makes me feel.I want it removed,but my husband doesn't until something final can be done. I don't want anything final done.My kids are my world.The one thing I am good at is raising them-everyone tells me so.I never finished school,I can't work,and I don't really know my adult life without being a mom.To be honest I don't even know married life without being pregnant.Thought our kids are closer in age,there were lost pregnancies between them.I want as many kids on Earth as I have in Heaven.Is that too much to ask? How do I face not having anymore kids?

Answer Question
 
candle5

Asked by candle5 at 11:44 PM on Aug. 2, 2010 in Pregnancy

Level 13 (1,333 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • try to get perspective - if your kids are your world and although it is possible to be a good parent with a disability, why would you take that chance to not be the kind of mother you are today? and the more kids you have the less individual attention each one gets. being a good parent isn't about the number of kids you have but how you raise the ones you have.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 11:51 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • ..."there is a chance it could make me a parapeligic or even kill me." What about that statement makes you want to end your own life? Hate to go all tough love on you, but your life is more important than the baby blues. Your children need their mother to be there to help them grow up. If your doctor told you that it is medically dangerous for you to have another child, do not do it. My doctor told me the same thing... he handed my baby to me and said, "Don't do this again. You will not survive another pregnancy." I wanted to watch my one precious child grow up, so I heeded my doctor's warning and did not get pregnant again. You should do the same.
    neebug3766

    Answer by neebug3766 at 11:52 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

  • sweetie, you're already a mom! not having more babies doesn't take that away! Think of your health! Who would take care of your kids if another baby paralyzed you or killed you? Would you really want them to be without a mommy just so you can try to have one more? Is it worth it?
    DarkFaery131

    Answer by DarkFaery131 at 12:13 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • I can understand mourning the change in plans. If you truly cannot put the idea of more children behind you, have you considered adoption? Or a second opinion? You may need to accept that there will be no more pregnancies because the children you already have need you. If you truly cannot come to terms with it, you may need to see a counselor for a little bit of help getting past this.
    kemclaughlin

    Answer by kemclaughlin at 1:40 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • YOu need to be there for your kids. The ones you already have.
    Mom2Just1

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 4:33 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • If you are wanting more I would look into adoption. Seeing how hard it is on my kids with their father being disabled I would seriously discourage not taking your drs advice into consideration when thinking about attempting another pregnancy.

    fallnangel3

    Answer by fallnangel3 at 4:44 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • If kids are what matters and maybe not pregnancy,maybe adopting a baby would be a good option,you keep your health,and get a baby too :o) Plus your kids still have a great mom!
    TootieFruitie

    Answer by TootieFruitie at 9:27 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • think about adopting... you don't want to risk not being there to raise the children you already have
    elizabiza

    Answer by elizabiza at 11:25 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • You need to stay as healthy as you can for the children you currently have. You need to think about how their lives would be if you did end up parlysed or dead. They need a healthy mom who can take care of them.

    If you dislike your IUD, you can try Essure or have your tubes tied or your husband can get a vasectomy.
    HotMama330

    Answer by HotMama330 at 12:29 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • I want to be the one to offer you a different prespective. I had a placental aburption and nearly died seven years ago when I gave birth. My Husband had a vasectomy because it scared us to death and he didn't want me to hemmhorage and possible bleed to death if we had another baby. I got depressed. I love being a Mom and wanted more kids. My MIL is an OB nurse and she talked to us. She explained that the Doctor has no way to know what is going to happen next time. They have to tell you everything possible because malpractice lawsuits are horrible. They cover their bases. She explained of all the poeple that she sees have trouble and then come back just fine. We felt that we had sinned because the Bible speaks about not using Birth Control. So, we prayed and we saved our money. We got a vasectomy reversal done and I got pregnant right away. I have some symptoms that I had last time and it scares me sometimes but we trust God
    hsmominky

    Answer by hsmominky at 8:33 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

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