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I have not cheated with my sons father yet, but it is on my mind big time. I love my hubby 2 DEATH though. So why do I feel this way about another Man? Yeah I know that it is wrong & I dont need anyone to tell me again that it is wrong. I just need help! Honest help from anyone who understands how I feel & who has been through this!!! PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!

i know its wrong & i dont need anyone else to tell me that, but in my mind I will always be his girl. I have not cheated with him yet, we have just talked on the phone for a while. I love my hubby 2 DEATH! dont know y i feel this way. other man is married & they have 4 kids. hes not happy. hes told me. He said that he has never stopped loving me & that he dont know why it didnt work with us. I will always have love for him he is my sons father. he wants us 2 get 2gether & maybe talk. i know how he works he say talk, but he wants something else. hes been mia for bout 2 years in our sons life. now hes back & I dont konow what 2 do. can someone please help me. Why why why do i feel this way? is it normal? I need help!!!!!!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:28 PM on Oct. 4, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • It sound like you are still in what i call a love spell, I know i have my ex we were together for 10 yrs. treated me like crap. and i met someone else and yes i still think of him, but i fight it because i know it's not healthy and i did the exact opposite of what i used to do. maybe you just have to unleash your true feelings to him about him miissing in kids life and also try talking to your husband, choose your words though, sounds like you haven't let go, you just put it on the back burner for a while.good luck!

    Answer by christina200107 at 2:53 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • i think that everyone that has been in a previous relationship has been through this if not physicaly mentaly ,he has shown you that he cannot be trusted i would keep my distance from him at all costs an ex is an ex for a reason remember why you left and why you are with the man you are with now,,,i have been married for a long time and still entertain ideas about other men especialy when times get rough so i dont think it is abnormal just dont react on impulse you could ruin a good thing honey with your husband good luck

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:06 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • This new man is giving you something that your husband is not. So figure out what it is. Then from there figure out how to get it in the relationship you have with your husband. Cheating is not going to do anything but give you guilt and it will possibly ruin your marriage. If you love your husband than stay clear of the new man. Cut off all contact with him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:07 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • Cut off contact except when it comes to your son. Only talk to him when your DH is in the room or soemone else who you wouldn't want to hear. If your ex isn't happy, that's his problem, not yours! If he has been gone for two years, he won't hesitate to do it again the next time he moves on from you. DO NOT go meet him to "talk" if you know where it will lead. If he is spendig time with your son, meet him in a public place or only let him come pick up your son when your DH is home. Basically, I am saying avoid contact, avoid being alone with him and focus on your husband, the one that chose to marry you and accept your son. Don't think about the guy that left his own flesh and blood for two years and is now only coming in contact so he can cheat on his wife, let him go do that with someone else!

    Answer by chillemi78 at 3:10 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • Are you hubby having problem? If not , maybe you are just feeling sorry for the other guy.

    Answer by MYBABES0804 at 3:27 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • I am very confused about the whole situation, I asked him (this might have been very stupid of me) if he decied to show up now that my son is 4 & has not seen u since he was 2 because him & the wife were going through drama in their marriage. He said no that he was stupid & very immature back then & he wants 2 make up for lost time. I mean who am I 2 say no he cant have a relationship with our son? my hubby understands he said all he is worried bout is him hurting or confusing my son. I feel him comepetely on that 1. I just have to work someting out. I still am confused about the whole thing. we never had any closure, we only dated a few months then i got pregnant. he thought i was cheating & broke up with me. I dont know! Im stick in a real bad spot right now. But thanks again ladies. you all have gave me more to think about.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:27 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • Basically you have already cheated. The fact your thinking about it and talking to him about shows that mentally you have cheated.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:30 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • no hubby & I have a great marriage. we have no issues at all. We both understand that we have baggage from old relationships that we have to deal with & we are ok with that. I have a son, & he has a son both from old relationships. I do not talk to him about sleeping with him. when I do talk to him, its about my son & how he is growing, doing in school, sports he likes, & that kind of things, He always ask me about us & why we didnt make it work, if I still love him, if im happy, if i would meet with him, & things like that. he knows where i stand on my marriage vows. FORSAKING ALL OTHERS AS LONG AS WE BOTH SHALL LIVE Ive told him many times. I guess its the fact that i talk to him that makes him think that it will be something. I mean i do still have love for him... he is my sons father.


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:37 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • He is just trying to grasp at something because his ship is going down. I agree with the above posts--limit your time with him and don't be alone. He is what could be considered rebounding. And you are playing into his trap. If he has matured, he would want to make the home with the kids he has with the wife he has and to include his other child in that--not break up to more homes, devastate more people, all for his selfishness. Vows are more than just a promise. They are for when the "feelings' are there and when they are not. Love is a choice not a feeling. You need to let it go because some of it quite frankly is appealing to your vain side---Oh, he has loved me all this time--lost love found---whatever. Get real, look at your family now and KNOW, please KNOW they will pay a heavy price if you keep playing his head games.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:55 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • Ummmmm I would stay with the hubby..... PLEASE take this from me.... I was married and we had a daughter things were fine at first til we got the internet...... well i found the man that im now living with and the father of my 2 sons and a daughter on the way.... the thing is i was having an affiar with this man for almost 3 years and both men thought they were my sons fathers and neither of them knew about eatchother we lived in different states... i was literally living a double life and i couldnt take it anymore so i just picked up and moved with the man i was having an affair with without telling my friends and family of corse everyone knows now and I love the man im with but I know i should have stayed with my husband... cut off all personal ties exept your sons welfare with this other man and get going on your marriage PLEASE dont go through what I did it's a living HELL

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:04 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

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