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Not sleeping in the same bed bad for marraige?

It depends on the relationship first husband our relationship was defined by the bedroom, we talked and were always very snuggley.
We didn't get along well by day but "fit" together at night.
And when that husband started to work 3rd shift it is when our relationship went straight to hell! seriously it did not survive, we divorced.

now the second husband is here and we are great as couple! we have not shared a bed in 3 yrs for personal reasons...yet we rent hotel rooms or find other ways for "relations", when we can we are loving and nevr argue we talk things out... so this theory that you must share a bed to have a healthy relationship is bogus and depends on the couple and the needs of that relationship.


Asked by togo90210 at 2:02 AM on Aug. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Level 18 (6,374 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I HATE my husband being in the bed with me. He snores, farts and annoys me so much that I get no sleep. Luckily, he works 3rd and is only home during the night on Fri and Sat- even then I am in the bed and he is on the couch or vice-versa. I don't get where the 'rule' came from that married people have to share a bed.


    Answer by IhartU at 7:45 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • I would always want my hubby next to me every night couldent think of it in any other way! he is my cuddle butt! but to each their own

    Answer by DeeMarie87 at 2:08 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • quite frankly, I find that extremely odd. My BF & I love to spend every free moment together, & the bedroom is no different. But hey, your life, your marriage. You do whatever works best for you.

    Answer by stressedmomma13 at 2:39 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • for me, sleeping in the same bed would be a requirement...i love pillow talk and snuggling...the few nights my SO and i have spent apart i had so much trouble sleeping...sharing a bed with my SO on a regular basis is one of my favorite parts of being in a committed relationship!

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 8:34 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • I haven't slept all night in the same bed as my husband in 3 years. He sleeps on the couch in the living room for lack of anywhere else to sleep. It was his choice. He snores...really bad. It wasn't a big deal when we first got married but over the years it has become intolerable. Our marriage almost fell completely apart because I was constantly exhausted from sleep deprivation and snapping at him. We rarely did anything together, didn't look at each other or ever touch each other. I couldn't stand to be in the room with him because I was so tired and I blamed him. We actually broke up for 6 weeks after 7 1/2 years of marriage. When we got back together we started sleeping in different rooms and our relationship is much better. I'm not exhausted and pissed at him all the time so I actually want to be around him.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 2:57 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • My parents were the same way. There were years they slept in different rooms for various reasons and yet they were still married the day my mom died (10 years ago on the 19th). They had been together just 1 week shy of 29 years and still completely in love with each other. My dad has never gotten over losing her.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 2:58 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • It depends on the couple. We sleep in seperate beds because he has to have the fan blowing in his face on high so he is cool enough. I hate anything blowing in my face and I have to be warm to sleep.

    Answer by Jerichos_Mommy at 3:45 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • DH's and I's relationship has gotten soooo much better since I started working 3rd shift. He snores, tosses and turns, and has to have noise to sleep. I spent many nights on the couch because he would wake me up in the middle of the night for one reason or another. We both sleep much better alone lol

    Answer by fallnangel3 at 5:40 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • I am thinking about getting my own bed. I have been sleeping on the couch because I am exhausted from sleep deprivation and I am the only one taking care of the kids and the house work. He works late 2nd shift and comes home at 2am and watches tv in our room for a couple hours when he gets home from work and I am in that room in the beed trying to get needed sleep because I have to get up early.

    Answer by reesemom at 7:39 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • I think you are right, it does depend on the couple. I don't sleep well when my hubby isn't with me, but he's nice to sleep with.

    Answer by Scuba at 8:33 AM on Aug. 3, 2010