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3 Bumps

my boyfriend is so unhappy with life..

We just moved, we know no one, can't find work, and my boyfriend is totally taking it out on our relationship. He is always just sad, there is nothing I can do to cheer him up. I got mad at him tonight because my friend is visiting us and a neighbor asked if we wanted to come drink and before I could even stand up he was half was over there. I got mad because he didn't even think to see if I wanted to go. And when I confronted him with it he was like well I didn't think you would have wanted to go. Ya because I'm a mom. why is it that just because I'm the "mom" I can't go have fun too? He got mad at me for being mad at him and he said he is going to leave for a few days tomorrow. Which is actually probably a good idea. I try so hard to make him happy..seriously try overly hard and I can't do anything to make him okay. He is usually super supportive and nice but he is just so down! It isn't enough to have a good family for him.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:19 AM on Aug. 3, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • you can't make him happy...best thing you can do is be happy yourself...find things you enjoy doing and go do them...hopefully he'll eventually want what you have and follow suit.....
    FXmomTo3

    Answer by FXmomTo3 at 7:32 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • You really can't take it all on yourself. I mean,you can not be responsible for anyone elses happiness.
    My dh went through a period of clinical depression. It can be such a challenge. If he gets to that point, do you think he would be open to talking to a thearpist? In most states you can see one for free. Most community hospitals have sliding scale fees and it's usually free for people w/o income. GL
    momthruivf

    Answer by momthruivf at 6:05 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • so I guess the question is...should I just let him leave like this? Should I try something else to get him happy? or what? Would you be mad that he just thinks it's ok for him to go have fun because you will stay home? idk I feel like that's kind of screwed up!
    dbodani

    Answer by dbodani at 3:20 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • Well men do deal with stress differently and you all just moving and then he can't find work that is alot of stress on a man. Him going over to the neighbors house to have a few drinks yes he should have asked you if you wanted to go, that is messed up. You two need to have a talk and ya maybe him leaving for a few days is a good idea but he needs to take your feelings about this to heart to he sounds like he is just thinking of himself.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 3:41 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • You can't make someone happy, happiness comes from within. Moving, looking for work and starting over are really stressful for both of you, not just him. You should talk to him about what you're seeing, it sounds like he's not concerned about your feelings, only his own.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 9:04 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • I agree with the other posters. It isn't your "job' to make him happy. He will come around when things settle down and he finds work. He probably feels like less of a man for not supporting his family, it has nothing to do with you. I think you should stop taking things so personally and give him some space, maybe he needed to go to the neighbors alone to have some time to himself. If you back off a little he will come around.
    newmomma14

    Answer by newmomma14 at 1:07 PM on Aug. 3, 2010