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2 Bumps

Why doesn't my hubby want to spend more time with just me?

Recently my husband has not wanted to be alone with me. I mean, we sleep together and we do spend other time together but our son is always with us. I feel like the only time we are alone together is the two hours at night that we have before our son gets into bed with us. We both have big families and lots of help and we used to let our son stay the night with a grandparent every once in a while so we could spend some alone-time together. We haven't done that in about a year. Also, when we were on vacation with my in-laws they offered to keep our son for one night and the entire night hubby was in a rush to get back to him. I even mentioned having a date-night today and hubby refused saying he didn't want to be away from our son. Hubby has been busy at work but he gets to see our son more than most Dads. I appreciate his want to be a good dad but I really feel slighted right now! What is wrong with me?

Answer Question
 
Momincollege23

Asked by Momincollege23 at 5:22 AM on Aug. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Level 6 (135 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I don't think anything is wrong with you. Sometimes, we go thru things like this and men just don't get it. I have a very loving husband and father to my kids. But he doesn't want to leave the kids behind at all. They are our responsiblity and don't find the need to leave them. Men just aren't as "romantic" as women. They don't like to "talk" and explore "feelings" like us.
    mschanng

    Answer by mschanng at 5:34 AM on Aug. 3, 2010


  • you are not alone in this,, i feel the same lots of times, but try to talk to him and tell him that you need to spend sometime with him on your own, go for dinner or something,,,
    i hope things will get better for you..
    caring_mom

    Answer by caring_mom at 6:09 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • How old is your child? If your child is old enough, you get them to ask to go over to grandma's house or whatever and save your Dh the trouble of feeling like he abandoned them. If they aren't old enough to be able to ask that.. then I have no help at all.. because it's the exact opposite in my relationship.. Dh begs me to go out with him and leave Dd with a sitter.. and I just can't relax when I'm worried about her..
    MomtoElliett

    Answer by MomtoElliett at 6:11 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • I agree with MomtoElliett. If your child is old enough, have them ask to sleep out. I think you should really just pull him to the side and tell him you need his love and attention like he gives your son. I am in the opposite position with my relationship. My husband is amazing, we're always together 24/7, literally. Just express to thim that you need the attention and effection every now and again. It's reassuring to have that. Good luck.
    AtHomeMommy-3

    Answer by AtHomeMommy-3 at 7:32 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • Kids are very important but I always say that the relationship between the parents is the most important relationship in the house. A strong marriage to me is the best thing we can give our kids. It provides stability and a sense of family. I think some parents get lost in the love they feel for their kids. Although important, I would say that it is second to the love between the parents. I would suggest you talk to him about how you feel. Make an agreement to spend time together on a regular basis. If the kid is sleeping with you put a stop to that.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 7:55 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • My ex was like that. As Bjane01 said, a strong marriage is the best thing you can do for your kids. You NEED to have date nights, and have time alone together. Have you talked to him about it?
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 8:20 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • probably because he's cheating on you at work.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:22 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • OP here,
    Thanks everyone for the helpful answers. And sorry you're so bitter Anon.
    Momincollege23

    Comment by Momincollege23 (original poster) at 12:45 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • It happens ,just another phase of life
    A11

    Answer by A11 at 3:11 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

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