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Would you want to know?

If you found out that your daughter's boyfriend has done drugs (I don't know what kind) or drank in the past, would you insist on asking more questions, knowing more? She just found out about it but doesn't know I do. I have noticed this boy's friends are not the kind of people she usually hangs out with, and I'm not so sure this guy is a good influence. He is very polite, but quiet. She has already shown poor judgment a couple of times in another area. I am worried. She is a very good student, but lacks common sense at times.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:43 AM on Aug. 3, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (7)
  • yes
    i would want to know as much as i could
    teen brain not developed to make good judgement calls
    you must make some for her

    Answer by fiatpax at 8:50 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • I would ask some more questions and pull back when/ if she gets defensive and aproach another way, but not give up.Maybee invite him for dinner one easy cook night, like make their own pizza night.& observe his actions.Just a thought.

    Answer by Stefono at 8:51 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • Yes, I would talk to her, calmly! Not something I am good at!!! But I would want to know what she finds appealing about this boy. Tell her you have concerns, he seems different than other boys and see w hat she says. Don't push it, it will make her want him even more and/or pull away from you. I learned this the hard way. It is helpful to get to know him, maybe he isn't as bad as you think.

    Answer by wallmom1 at 10:19 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • Yes I would want to know, but I would trust my daughter to make the right choices.

    Answer by older at 11:04 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • Most definately, why wait until it's too late. I'd check into where they go, who they hand around, and are adults around when in his home. This is a little extreme but, a Court case on TV was a young girl who stabbed a girl over a boy, good girl, good grades, had a job, so the parents thought oh wow we don't have to worry,she's in jail for life I think she got. What did her parents say, "We didn't check on her friends, we didn't think we had to." Don't wait until it's too late and good luck, it's really hard to get these girls away from these BAD boys when they set their eyes on them. Been there, done that, and I didn't have a very good ending to my story.

    Answer by MyAngel003 at 7:14 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • Well, first, how do you know he's used drugs in the past? I would definitely want to talk to him, though. You have the right as a mother to know about the boys your daughter dates. She's young and doesn't have the life experience to make good decisions about a boy she's infatuated about.

    Answer by L.A.F.outloud at 9:21 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • Question them both and then his parents

    Answer by annie610 at 8:35 PM on Aug. 6, 2010

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