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Am I too sensitive or is he being a jerk? adult content

Yesterday was our anniversary. We've been together 9yrs and married 2. About 6 months ago I bought gift certificates for us to have back massages and dinner out at a nice restuarant. We went to Jamaica in June so I knew that was our big thing. And the back massages and dinner would be for us to celebrate our anniversary at home. Well yesterday comes and no card, barely a happy anniversary in the morning and no mention of it the rest of the day. WTF! Wanted to make sure he had $ for weed but didn't think twice about $ for our anniversay? Not even a card? Wanted male extenze (penis enhancement pills.) I tell him it's a waste of time and money I don't need them he states it's not just for you what abou me. So what is he saying the goods aren't so good any more now we need pills? I'm just upset and disappointed all the way around. And to boot due to no sitter now we can't use the dinner and back massage gift cards until later.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:24 AM on Aug. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • He's got serious issues.....
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 9:26 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • These are the days when you need to think back and ask yourself what it was about this guy that made you know he was the one with whom you wanted to spend the rest of your life. When you get to that reason, hang on to it for dear life. A big part of marriage is to help your spouse overcome his issues, and it looks like you have several on which to work. Everyone comes to marriage with baggage, and we all need help to unload it. My advice is to start looking for ways you can help your guy get rid of some of his. I would start with looking at his dependent personality and the example his parents set for him when he was growing up. Unless a man has had demonstrated for him by his mom and dad how to celebrate anniversaries and the like, he is very apt to not see those days as being at all important. The good news is that he can learn, but that means you have to commit to being his teacher. Are you up to the task?
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:34 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • I would not flip out on him because men just get defensive, even if they know they are in the wrong. Get your sweet voice out & talk to him like a friend & talk to him kindly. Tell him how much he hurt you & explain your feelings to him without getting mad. This will help him realize that he is a jerk. When women raise their voices & get huffy-puffy, even when the men are wrong most will still try to defend themselves. When the problem is approached kindly, with soft words & good explanation...usually guys listen better & hear you out more. Men hate feeling like they are being attacked. Anyhow, he needs to know how you feel not anyone else. you guys are not only a married couple, you're friends. Don't lose sight of that.

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:36 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • Yea that's one big mess on his part.
    He definately made the wrong choices there.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 9:39 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • Wow get yourself a card and some flowers. Extenze??? wow really already? Sit down and talk about what is really going on. GL Momma
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 9:44 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • Sounds like a jerk to me.
    mikesmom65270

    Answer by mikesmom65270 at 9:59 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • I'm sorry but I have to say I don't think the pills have anything to do with you. It sounds like he wants them for him. You said so yourself "it's not just for you what abou me" has he always had low selfesteem? and as for the anniversary. Is this a new thing? or has he always got you something? I don't think I would make a big deal of not getting anything, just tell him it kind of hurt when he didn't even acknowledge it. Communication is very improtant in any relationship he can't read your mind so how is he supposed to know your upset and at what.
    lovemybaby283

    Answer by lovemybaby283 at 10:12 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • I like the previous post and I agree. It's easy to be pissed off and emotional at first, but after calming down, just reflect one the situation and see if you can't understand what happened.

    And no one else mentioned it but I've got to... what's up with the weed thing? Obviously you know about it and are cool with it (and I'm not bashing, i've had my fair share who hasn't) but if it's starting to come between the two of you then it needs to be addressed.

    I hope things work out for the both of you.
    1st_time_mom23

    Answer by 1st_time_mom23 at 10:30 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • this started as simple he forgot important date or did not give a gift for an anniversary
    but
    it turned into way way more than he forgot to say happy day

    he sounds pretty selfish to me
    and i would wonder about the penis pills??
    i would be more than sensitive... i would be suspicous
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 10:39 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • Thats f-ed up..
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 11:17 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

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