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Mom, I want, Mom, I want but...I won't do anything for you. What to do

I have a 10yo that is being a pain in the buttocks wants everything toys, fast food, etc... this is not the way he was raised however, helping me easily has never been his strong suit

 
mom2priceboys

Asked by mom2priceboys at 3:58 PM on Jun. 29, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 19 (6,708 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • At 10 years old he is more than capable of earning money to pay for his own toys and fast food. There are PLENTY of chores he can do around the house. My 6 and 8 year olds do chores to earn money. They feed the dogs, make their beds, clear the table, wash the breakfast dishes, clean the dog poop from the backyard, run the sweeper, sweep the floor and wipe out the bathroom sink. They get paid $2-3 a week for this and if they want to earn extra, they do things like pull weeds or shovel snow. When we go to K-mart or yard sales, if they want to buy a toy, they buy it with their own money. Your 10 year old can take out the garbage, do yard work, do laundry, clean out the basement, or the garage, help dad clean out the gutters. The next time he starts singing the "I want" song, either he pays for it himself, or he does without. He'll learn real quick how to help you if he doesn't get everything handed to him and has to actually WORK for it. Stick to your guns, make him earn it.
    Bethsunshine

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 8:39 PM on Jun. 30, 2008

  • just say no and if he persists then tell him your going to take something of his away till he respects your answer whether he likes it or not.
    mca_parkers

    Answer by mca_parkers at 4:31 PM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • I would try to just start saying no to his "wants". Offer him an allowance for doing the chores, and maybe add in bonuses when he goes above and beyond when not being told. Praise often to let him know that it is really appreciated! :)
    tlsteinbeck

    Answer by tlsteinbeck at 4:47 PM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • In life, we need to work for our "things". Yes, as a parent, it is our job to provide our children with their necessities. Food, a roof over their head, clothing, etc. Those are things we must provide. Luxury items are something we need to WORK for. Unless he is an independantly wealthy heir, he'll need that life skill.
    If you really want to change his attitude, change your reaction. Be consistant, and make him earn his extras. Also, like tlsteinbeck said, praise him. Praise him for all the good work he does, and when he IS helpful, make sure he knows that you know. One way that kids really *get it* is to let them overhear you praising them to others.
    DeylansMama

    Answer by DeylansMama at 5:47 PM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • Thanks all so far to the answers provided, I have told him NO, praised his good works and through his life shown him that we need to work for the luxeries. I've put him in his room and then he chooses to stay there rather than *do the right thing*. I've taken him to counseling but they had nothing to offer me so therefore I'm coming to the experts!
    mom2priceboys

    Answer by mom2priceboys at 6:15 PM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • "People in hell want Ice Water!" LOL that's what I say. HOWEVER, if he wants to EARN some money for these things, we give him money for good grades, and extra chores. His regular chores are not paid for, they are part of being a family.
    Keriokeeee

    Answer by Keriokeeee at 6:52 PM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • when we are somewhere like target adn she tells me mom i wnat this i say what am i gong to get from you? and if i dont' get it, that item goes back.
    princezzmommie

    Answer by princezzmommie at 12:38 AM on Jun. 30, 2008

  • if you do good you will get rewarded - if you do nothing you get nothing
    vakatia

    Answer by vakatia at 11:45 PM on Jun. 30, 2008

  • I have a ten year old along with a 9 year old and a 0ne year old. I have a chore list where they get to pick if they get 10 cent per chore or 10 min. on a game system. It has really helped me with showing my kids how to earn what they get. My ten year old also learned he enjoyed helping "mom" and in return he gets to play his games. I hope this helps.
    tazzyt19

    Answer by tazzyt19 at 4:27 PM on Jul. 1, 2008