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Well we are TTC but no luck. I have been looking about info on adoption. It seems so expenisive with open adoption are we responsible for the mother expenses ( food, rent, clothing and medical).I'm just trying to get an ideal what to expect.

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lang6000

Asked by lang6000 at 10:50 AM on Aug. 3, 2010 in Adoption

Level 5 (80 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I am not sure about the expenses part... i think most agencies operate differently.... some i looked into were very expensive

    i adopted through foster care while it did not cost me any money it cost me a broken heart but well worth it

    i was just about to go through ivf when i got the call about a foster to adopt little girl....
    chiana

    Answer by chiana at 11:10 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • There are lot of different ways to adopt, International, Domestic Infant adoption, foster care and I believe each has its own set of costs and each agency or lawyer is different I think. Open adoption does not mean that you have to pay for expenses, in fact I think its frowned upon in most cases, not to mention paying expenses can make an expectant mother feel obligated to give you her child in the event she may want to change her (which you need to understand could happen). Open adoption is really more about extending your family - not just with the new child but with the birth mother as well. Keeping in contact regularly, in some cases allowing visits and keeping her as a part of your child's life, not coparenting, but like an aunt or friend of the family so that your child can have that relationship with his first family.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 11:23 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • Blessedwboysx3 gave an excellent explanation of open adoption (OA). We used Catholic Charities both times, and we didn't pay bmom expenses b/c that is something that particular charity helps with whether she chooses to place or not. With our oldest, who we adopted at birth, we were responsible for birth and hospital expenses for the baby only. Our youngest came home at four weeks, so we didn't have to pay that.

    Our most expensive adoption cost $10,000. I think it's a common misconception that agency adoption has to be expensive. Actually we spent far more on failed infertility treatments than we spent on both adoptions combined. We followed the common path of first trying to produce children from our own bodies. I now see the infertility as a blessing b/c it brought me the two most special children in the world (IMHO!). I wouldn't change a thing if it meant I couldn't have them.
    Iamgr8teful

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 12:23 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • I agree with the others that costs will vary. We didn't pay any expenses for our birth mother.. A good starting point is a book called "The Adoption Resource Book" by Lois Gilman. Lots of useful information about different options, how to evaluate agencies, what to look for, etc. If covers both domestic and international as well as public vs private agencies.
    momofryan07

    Answer by momofryan07 at 4:10 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • I have been in your shoes. However, I just thought I would mention, from someone who has been down that road, that adoption is not the answer for not being able to conceive. I believe you have a lot of research and reading to do about adoption, especially about yourself and what your expectations are. Adoption can't be the band aid to heal a wounded heart. You need to heal first.
    hollyanne31

    Answer by hollyanne31 at 3:09 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • I adopted through my church's agency so it cost $4000 plus court fees. We had an option to pay some things for the birthmom but we really couldn't afford it so we didn't check that box. An open adoption is where the birthmom is part of the child's life. A closed adoption is where there is absolutely no contact. We have a semi-open adoption. We communicate via mail and e-mail. Sometimes we see the birthmom at places but she doesn't know where we live. She lives in the same town as us.
    ziff130

    Answer by ziff130 at 9:42 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • Research all of your options. We are adopting an infant out of foster care. She is a "safe surrender" baby. Most states have laws where a parent can safely surrender a newborn at a designated place (like a hospital or fire station) and that child is placed in a foster to adopt home. There are also a lot of infants who are taken from their birth mothers at birth, or shortly after due to positive drug tests (and usually having had other children removed form their care). There are infants and toddlers who are available to adopt through the foster care system and it is free.
    maggiemom2000

    Answer by maggiemom2000 at 12:05 AM on Aug. 6, 2010

  • do a search
    san78

    Answer by san78 at 6:38 AM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • i agree do your research.gl and keep tryin a delayed yes does not means no.
    mekarevell

    Answer by mekarevell at 3:08 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

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