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Why do kids hug you after you have punished them?

They know you are mad at them and they still want to hug you. Is it part of the unconditional relationship? Do they know they have disappointed you and have remorse? I always hug my kids. What is your analysis?


Asked by 2tinyhineys at 10:53 AM on Aug. 3, 2010 in General Parenting

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Answers (13)
  • Probably some of all of that. My son does this. It melts me. It gets us over being upset with each other too.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 10:54 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • They're seeking your acceptance of them. They want reassurance that you still love them no matter what.

    Answer by justnancyb at 10:53 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • I think it is because they know that they have disappointed you, and they know you are upset. So, that is their way of telling you it is okay, and they understand.

    Answer by mommy11260 at 10:54 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • I think that they want a hug because we are their comforters. When they get a boo boo or when they are feeling sad they come to us, to get a hug. Hugs somehow make little ones feel comfort and love. No matter if its us mad at them or not, they still crave the comfort that only we can give.

    Answer by KristinRox at 10:55 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • I don't believe it's remorse so much as a need to reconnect with you. Punishment makes them feel disconnected from you and they need physical reassurance.

    Answer by jessradtke at 10:55 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • They all know where those weak points are, they got you down pat!

    Answer by older at 10:55 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • Because they love you, Mommy‚ô•

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 10:56 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • I agree its a way to reconnect and ensure that you still love them. My kids are 12 and 15 and still hug me when we have an argument or a situation that calls for me to more authoritative than normal. In fact my kids have even cried when I've when I've voiced my disappointment in their actions or how they hurt my feelings. They will typically cry, tell me they are sorry, tell me they love me and hug me. My children know I love them, I hug them and kiss them and tell them every day, I think they want to ensure I'm still love them and are proud of them even if I didn't like their choices.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 12:38 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • They want to show they are truly sorry and need confirmation you still love them as well as confirming to you that they still love you even though they obviously made you unhappy. I hate it when I go for a hug after disciplining and they back away or say I don't love you anymore Mommy! :)

    Answer by jamesonjustines at 10:56 AM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • To show the child tht you have unconditional love for them. I hug them while explaining that I still love them even though their action made me mad.

    Answer by bano.0909 at 10:56 AM on Aug. 3, 2010