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5 Bumps

Husband is still in contact with the Other Woman Part 2 adult content

Thank you for your responses. It seems that I could not respond anonymously on the comment I guess that has changed. To update you guys, We talked about it. I thought we were doing good and I thought he was happy but he says he can't forget about her and he's lying to himself by being with me. He doesn't talk to her a lot but about once a week. He said he doesn't want to hurt me but i feel its too late for apologizing about hurting me. We had problems in our marriage for a while and when we were dating we had issues too but I just do not want to accept that this is over. Im not sure I can win him back and I don't want anyone else to have him. I hate that B-WORD for ruining everything. I love him so much. This is so hard to take I feel sick. I know you are all right about me leaving but its so hard. What does she have that I don't? I ask him if it was sex. He said they didn't have sex because its wrong? What does that mean?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:19 PM on Aug. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (19)
  • She is probably giving him something emotional for now. Men like to feel wanted and needed and they always think the grass is greener on the other side. I hated the B that ruined my marraige too so I feel for you. I loved mine alot too but there wasn't anything I could do to win him back once she had his heart. I'm sorry you are going through all of this.
    Moms_Angels1960

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 1:26 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • I would not give up on the marriage. I would still be trying to be the best wife I knew how to be. You never know what can happen that would cause him to completely lose interest in the other hussy.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:28 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • You have to remember that he chose to be with her just as much as she chose to be with him. You cannot put the blame on her for anything she has done if you're not willing to blame your husband as well. He betrayed you, he cheated on you, he ruined your family not the other women. The other women was only a pawn in his unfaithfulness. Don't be blinded by your want to be a family and forget that he chose his actions. Men or women are both at fault for their own actions and your husband isn't any acception.

    If he cannot forget about this women, if he cannot let go of wanting her then why do you want him? He clearly doesn't want you and doesn't want to continue a life with you. You deserve someone who wants you, who wants to be loyal and faithful to you. Not someone who has flings with other women. Don't fool yourself. Be honest about the situation .. HE ruined your family. Let him go.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 1:30 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • Im so sorry you are going threw this, My first husband left me for som 18 year old and got her pregnant, while me and my kids were struggleing to make ends meet! I had to get on welfare because of it! I hurt so bad that he was takein care of his new gf and her new baby! But I relized, that i dont need him! I can do it all by my self! You just have to stay strong!
    DeeMarie87

    Answer by DeeMarie87 at 1:36 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • Don't beat yourself up and try to figure out the why's and think there is something wrong with you.. It's him, he should have NEVER gotten envolved with you if his heart was with someone else! he fooled you and that is so unfair! There is no winning him back, no one wins in this kind of situation.. it's going to hurt for awhile you just need to keep yourself busy. And figure out another path to take.. I iwsh you the best and remember it's not you who is the problem, it's him! He is the selfish jerk, who has no clue in life!
    BobbieJo286

    Answer by BobbieJo286 at 1:38 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • I don't personally know your situation 100%, but I dealt w what seems like the exact same thing 2.5 yrs ago w my XH. He cheated on me for 4 mos before he wanted a separation; turns out it was for a co-worker, and now, they're a week away from being married. I was SO angry @ him for doing that to me, but @ the same time, I loved him SO much I couldn't let him go...I couldn't see the forest thru the trees. Bottom line is that he was flat-ass disrespecting me; and in turn I was disrespecting myself by ALLOWING him to play me like a fool. I know its a crazy hard time emotionally but you have to let him have the OW...you just have to. Don't let him disrespect you like that; you will find happiness & freedom. I never beliieved when others told me it, but here I am; its been an adjustment, but I've never been happier. LET HIM GO.

    nappeal

    Answer by nappeal at 1:57 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • of course your going to be hurting cause you love him so much but everything is going to be ok just worry about yourself for know & you will find someone else that would be there for you in mean time but dont be sad you be ok
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 2:02 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • That means he respects your marriage. It doesn't mean you have to give up your marriage but it's possible you may have to win him back
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:07 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • I had all the same thoughts and feelings that you are experiencing, but trust me you deserve better. It may seem like its impossible to live without him, but I promise you its not. You deserve someone who loves you and only you. It cuts so deeply when they tell you they have feelings for and cant stop thinking about the other woman, it was absolutely devastating to me. You need to have an honest conversation with yourself, and ask yourself if you can really live this way. Even if you did win him back, would it make you happy? Will you ever me able to move fully past this? I know I couldnt, and I tried very hard. (((BIG HUGS)))
    kimbob2284

    Answer by kimbob2284 at 2:09 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • SHE never promised you anything. The one you should be upset with is the one who promised to love ONLY you for the rest of his life. It shouldn't matter if Angelina Jolie walked around in front of him butt naked and throwing money at him to 'service her', he is supposed to be man enough to say NO.

    It isn't that YOU weren't enough or that YOU were lacking in anything. It is because HE couldn't keep it in his pants. There are far worse things than being without HIM. I would suggest getting some counseling and a very good lawyer. Don't let HIM decide what you are going to do with the rest of YOUR life. There are other men out there who are smart enough to appreciate all that you have to offer. Don't waste your time with a loser who can't see that you deserve so much better than the best that he is capable of giving you.

    Good luck!!
    SimplyLaine

    Answer by SimplyLaine at 3:16 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

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