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My SO seems to have a lower sex drive since he stopped drinking and also since my pregnancy and birth or our son. We have sex may 2 or 3 times a week if I'm lucky. We used to have sex all the time. I will want to get frisky and he wants to look at other naked women. I'm frustrated. Any advice? adult content

My SO have been together 3 yrs and just had a son. I have a daughter by a previous marriage and he has a 10 yr. old son from a previous relationship.

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KandDsmama1

Asked by KandDsmama1 at 2:25 PM on Aug. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Level 8 (218 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Oh wow.. he wants to look at other women naked? That mixed with not wanting to have sex with me would hurt my feelings, bad. Have you asked him if he is still attracted to you?
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 2:26 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • I think it is highly probable that sex is more important to both of you than is a really intimately bonded committed relationship. The fact that each of you has been physically involved with other people lessens your chances of bonding on a deeper level. It doesn't make it impossible, but it does make it much more difficult. His looking at other women is evidence that he is not ready to be a one-woman man. I don't know how you compete with that nor do I know of any fix for it. Were I where you are today with all these children already involved, I think I would have a long talk with him about the need to stop thinking so much about what brings us pleasure and concentrate all our energies on making a home and a family for these children. I also would not risk making any more children until such time I was totally convinced he was in it for the long haul. Sometimes, having a common goal will bring persons closer together,
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:36 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • Long-term alcohol abuse affects the nervous system and impairs the impulses between the brain's pituitary gland and the genitals. The nervous system is responsible for triggering the signals that dilate and relax the blood vessels in the penis, resulting in an erection.

    Clinical studies have shown that prolonged alcohol abuse causes irreversible damage to the nerves in the penis, which results in alcohol impotence.

    Excessive drinking also results in behavioral changes that reduce sexual desire and inhibit sexual performance. Concentration and judgment become cloudy and physical activity and movement are impaired.


    Alcoholism also disrupts hormone levels, in particular, testosterone and estrogen. Low levels of testosterone diminish sexual drive and function.


    I don't know how long he drank or to what extent, but perhaps he has an issue 'getting it up' and that's why there is less sex...
    IhartU

    Answer by IhartU at 2:40 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • Feel lucky you still have sex 2 to3 times a week.Since he isn't drinking anymore,that may have something to do with the sex thing.As far as him looking at other naked women,if you haven't already, talk to him about it.He may be having some type of "performance issues" since he has quit drinking.Find out what is going on with him.And then...start looking at naked women together. Communication is "key" to any relationship.Good luck! : )
    bvannkissy

    Answer by bvannkissy at 3:29 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • It is the actual he.He used to do the things under the influence of alcohol.Try to appreciate his move.things will be fine soon.
    A11

    Answer by A11 at 2:56 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

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