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What Should I Do?

I am thinking about taking my daughters father to court for full custody because he has never been there for her. She is 6 mths now and the last time he saw her she was 4 days old. I've never heard from him ever. I recently moved out of state and I still havent heard from him so I'm wondering if its a good idea to still go thru with the custody thing or should I just leave it alone? I mean he doesnt seem to care about being there. He doesnt pay child support because he gets SSI. What should I do?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:14 PM on Oct. 4, 2008 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • You can't get in trouble for taking the baby out of state unless you have a custody order already in place. However, as this child's mother it is your responsibility to make every effort to contact the father. You need to contact people that he knows and let them know that you have moved. Unless you are fearful for your life or the life of your child from this man, you need to make sure that he has away to contact you, i.e. address, phone number etc. If you don't do this, it will look to the courts as if you are alienating the child from the father. Be the responsible adult and understand that regardless of your feelings toward him he is this child's father. If he refuses to be in the baby's life and/or makes no efforts to contact you, thats dif. But if he doesn't have a number or address for you, then all he has to say is that he wasn't in the child's life because he didn't know where it is. Consult with an attorney!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:56 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • i would go for full custody, because if he changes his mind and wants her you may get in trouble for taking her out of the state, especially if she has his last name
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:16 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • i agree. take care of it now. if he decides in the future to be an "instant daddy", it could not be a good thing. its better to have all your business taken care of, and not have to worry about him in the future. good luck to you!
    ivelostmyself

    Answer by ivelostmyself at 5:25 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • I WOULD GO AFTER FULL CUSTODY ON THE BASIS OF ABANDOMENT. IF YOU DECIDE LATER ON THAT HE HAS CHANGED HIS WAYS, AND HE DECIDES THAT HE WANTS TO STEP UR AND BE A DAD IT WOULD BE BETTER FOR YOU TO MAKE THE DECISION. IF YOU DONT COVER YOUR BASIS THOUGH, HE CAN STEP IN AND DEMAND THAT YOU LET HIM HAVE VISITATION, AND CONSIDERING YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HE'S BEEN UP TOO, YOU DONT KNOW HOW HE WOULD BE WITH HER, PLUS HE WOULD BE A STRANGER TO HER. IF YOU GO AFTER IT DUE TO ABANDONMENT .... AND SAY YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHERE HE IS, THEN I DONT THINK THEY WILL TRY TO LET HIM DEFEND HIMSELF. THEY SHOULD AT THAT POINT JUST GIVE IT TO YOU. I REALLY REALLY THINK THAT YOU SHOULD GET FULL CUSTODY!!! YOU DONT WANT THIS TO BACKFIRE ON YOU.
    alicia_4307

    Answer by alicia_4307 at 2:23 AM on Oct. 5, 2008

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