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difficult subject any suggestions?

my oldest died of bacterial menengitis(hospital contamination)its been 4 years now(hed be 7 now) was 2 1/2 when this happened i was very young myself.i never really got over this never grieved never seeked counciling...dont have money for it.i t never got any other son is the same age recently got croup and was dead for a whole 3 minutes thank god the emergency operator helped me bring him back,i have been just horrible since then,woried depressed and well needless to say scared,i dont know how to cope with all husband tries to understand he just cant as it wasnt his child who passed.any suggestions a grieved stricken mother?(also isn't easy considering the same age range of occurences)

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Asked by tzingillusion21 at 5:34 PM on Oct. 4, 2008 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (6)
  • i lost my older brother 6 years ago, he was 21 and i can honestly say my mom isnt the same. i recommend talking to a professional. I can say that even though my brother passed away of a heart attack and was 21 i get scared every night when my daughter goes to sleep because i fear something can happen to her.

    Answer by Kennadismom at 5:42 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • I'm so sorry for your loss. And for your recent scare. There may be counseling in your area that you can afford, or that accepts your insurance. There are a lot of options out there from local governments that offer assistance. Try googling some options. Also, check here on Cafe Mom for groups of moms who have lost a child. You may find much needed support from people who can relate.


    Answer by chillemi78 at 5:55 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • You may be surprised how helpful your general practitioner can be. I would start by talking to him/her.

    Answer by write2sarah at 6:16 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • Try going to your local Family services office. Ask for a list of resources. On the list here in georgia is some free counciling and/or counciling help. It might not be great, but talking to someone who isn't judging you or saying " i knwo how you feel" might really help you. My son was born dead and lucky enough the docs were able to get him back. And I have had a frantic call to 911 as my son choked and I couldn't clear his throat. (We've had real bad luck) So I don't know exactly what you're going through, but it took me months and months to be able to sleep without waking up just to check on him. He will prolly always sleep with a baby moniter so I can hear him breathing all night. Just try to find someone you can talk to about it, cry to. It shoudl help you a little but it will never be perfect.

    Answer by Kayere at 6:40 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • Besides the great answers above, a lot of churches offer grief counseling and grief groups for free. Even if you are not a member or don't believe it may help to be around people who understand (as much as anyone can). Talk to your family practitioner and hopefully they will be able to point you in the right direction.  I am very sorry for your loss!!!


    Answer by mama_l at 8:35 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • I can't say i understand what you are goin thru but as i write with all i can't do is cry. To have lost one child and then to lost the other for only a short time can't be easy. I would seek some sort of counseling even if its a preast/father/bishop what ever. My ex-bf was dating a girl there freshman year who died of Type 1 Diabetes. She went into a coma in the night and never woke up. Her mother is not the same and one woman in the church (lds) told her to just get over her because she had 5 other children to take care of. No mother ever gets over the loss of a child.

    Answer by EJsHottMama at 11:33 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

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