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Don't know what to do.

Ok so right now my DD and I live with my step sons and their mom. Well the thing is is that I am home all day and make sure the boys eat well and not too much and at a healthy time etc etc. Well whenever I'm not home their mother feeds them crap. I mean I bought pork chops for her to make last night because I wasn't going to be home. They said she took them to Quickcheck and got them subs and slushies. My boys are overweight(Iwonder why) and I worry about their health when I move out! Also she is so lazy. Listen she is my friend, we co-parent because the kids dad is not here right now so whatever. But when she's home she's slepping. I'm not kidding 4 PM she's sleeping. The house is so cluttered and I clean the surface you know dishes floors etc etc but there are papers everywhere, broken things because she wont throw anything out! I can't do it it's not my stuff. I know I shouldn't complain and I'm not really what should I do

Answer Question
 
delilahsmom1177

Asked by delilahsmom1177 at 6:29 PM on Aug. 3, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 19 (7,071 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Make her take care of her own kids.
    Misteh

    Answer by Misteh at 6:31 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • Misteh, well I agree to a point. I agreed to help with them when I decided to be their step mom. And I fear if I did that they may be neglected.
    delilahsmom1177

    Comment by delilahsmom1177 (original poster) at 6:36 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • If you are worried about her kids health maybe you could try freezing healthy meals before hand. Or menu planning- so she can see exactly what dinner is going to be and start working on it.

    Also maybe you can try using a crock pot. That way she has no excuse to go and eat out- she can just eat what's already been made.

    GOOD LUCK :)
    Erica_Smerica

    Answer by Erica_Smerica at 6:37 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • Have you considered getting your own place, it sounds like you are going above and beyond to make sure everyone is okay and she's not meeting her end of the bargain. If moving out is not an option for whatever reason maybe you can tell her it's an ultimatum and explain to her everything you do to try to make the best out the situation and if things don't improve you will have no other option. Always make sure that you and your kids are taken care of first, she is an adult and should be the one accountable for the welfare of her children not just you alone. I think it's great what you're doing but yes something has to change.

    LuvmyFam6

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 6:38 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • Erica, thank you, but I have put things aside for dinner and went out and she didn't give it to them. If they ask for crap she gives it to them because they get upset if they hear no! I refuse to stand for it they know that. If they say oh I don't want this I want to go to McDonalds she'll go. They are 9 years old 5 foot and over 120lbs! I do not want them to be unhealthy. I love them like they are my own. I am just at a loss when I leave I know they will not be fed healthy food and they probably will not have any attention either.
    delilahsmom1177

    Comment by delilahsmom1177 (original poster) at 6:40 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • Luv, I promised my DF while he was away I would help with the boys because he knows how their mother is. I won't leave for them actually. My DD of course comes first but I mean right now she's at work won't be home until after 8 and she didn't leave until after 12. What was she doing beforehand? Sleeping! I made the boys breakfast and lunch. If I wasn't here they would eat crap and probably over eat! They do that very often.
    delilahsmom1177

    Comment by delilahsmom1177 (original poster) at 6:42 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • i agree she needs to tkae care of her own
    JoLee12345

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 11:01 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • Jo, yeah well then they would be barely cared for. They don't even have any clean underwear and she knows they don't. I have to do their laundry or they have none! I just told my mom I will do one more school year with them(since I am home when they get home and I do their homework with them without telling them they're idiots) and then I am moving out! Give myself a year to get everything done I need done, their last year of elementry will be good and then next year they start middle school and I think by then I can leave them in charge of hemselves. I love these boys like they were my own. I can't stand seeing them get such a lack of care by the person who says she puts them before everything(except sleep but she wont admit that) Their father is currently in prison (please no bashing) and he was the one who cared for them! He is a wonderful father and now I have had to step up because he's an idiot!
    delilahsmom1177

    Comment by delilahsmom1177 (original poster) at 11:42 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

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