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10 year old daughter~ Lying, Stealing, Back talking, Eye rolling, Grades dropped in school last year. What do I do besides grounding her, it doesn't work.

I am at my wits end and don't know what to do about it? Any helpful suggestion would be greatly appreciated, Thank you in advance!


Asked by Anonymous at 6:35 PM on Aug. 3, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (9)
  • I have 3 kids... my youngest is 9 and I find that most kids really want to please their parents and want to enjoy the family.... so if her behavior has gotten to this extreme I would think there is an actual problem. For a child that young this seems to me to be extreme. I would suggest some family counseling to find out where the issue lies. That way you can get her healthy. That doesnt exclude punishment in the interm... but seems if you dont fix the ACTUAL problem you will always have a problem.


    Answer by sahlady at 3:36 PM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • One of my teachers had this problem and she said she took her dd door down, took everything out of her room. Her radio, tv, most of her clothes, whatever. BAsically just left a bed and a few clothes. ANd don't give any of it back until she earns it back. Tell her in order to earn respect she has to give it and get her grades up.

    Answer by GinNTonic at 6:41 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • all those answer sound great but something is bothering her find out.tell her no matter what she has done that you love her tell you will stand by kids need to hear daily. yes she will roll her eyes.but just smile she has you .just talk might help listen don't judge you where once her age.when your ten your world is different then when 7 or 8 .take a day and spend time with her tell her what it was like when you where her age needs to know she is not alone hang in there it does get daughter is 21 i had some days that i just wanted to pull my hair out.but i made it so did she so will you and your daughter and good luck to you both

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 7:13 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • when you ground her, what does the grounding include? she should have no friends, no toys, no tv. no computer or video games, NOTHING. only come out of her room to eat and bath. Do not talk to her, and ignore when she makes her rude remarks. she will get the idea. ground her for a whole school year. IT WILL WORK

    Answer by HelloKitty86 at 6:42 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • Not knowing what grounding entails for you it's hard to help.

    Answer by tazdvl at 6:46 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • I agree with GinNTonic, let her little world collapse around her....take away everything that is not necessary for living and let her experience and know what it is you give to her everyday!


    Answer by mom2twobabes at 6:56 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • I would start with TALKING to her- finding out WHAT her issue is
    go from there. I do not agree with taking everything away or any of that.
    who are her friends? how do they act? maybe a discussion is needed about all that
    I would maybe cut down her entertainment time or something until she comes around with her grades

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 7:13 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • YEah...find out AFTER you take her shit away first. Find out when she is willing to communicate and talk to you.

    Answer by GinNTonic at 7:51 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • 1. Get to the bottom of it! Something is going on when a teen acts like that.. How is home life, How is school, Friends.. When did it start? Start a new school, a new friend entered the picture, divorce? She is feeling something & not telling...
    2. If you try to open up to her & show you care & all that & nothing is coming out of it.. Let her know your always there to chat it out. but you cannot continue to let her ruin her life/reputation & you have to do something about it.. and start taking stuff away from her... Computer/Cell Phone are BIG so id take it back..
    3. If she is stealing. Who is she stealing from? Make her earn that money back somehow. Make her apologize face to face.
    4. Get her into something POSITIVE that she enjoys. Sports? Reading? Babysitting (with you around)? ....

    Good Luck!

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 7:57 PM on Aug. 3, 2010