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i have a 2 yr old and a brand new baby. how do i deal with the 2 yr old adapting to the new baby?

the 2 yr old is just such a different child he yells and has a really ugly voice like mean talking screams stop... dont.... he has been hitting punching pinching, just everything and i feel like i cant deal with him properly. i need help ladies he is really pushing my last buttons!!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:55 PM on Aug. 3, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (8)
  • He needs to now he is still special and loved. Make sure he is getting extra one on one time with you and DH. Give him praise for things he does right. Try to get out with just him if you can. Lots of times the bad behavior goes away quickly once they know they have not been replaced! Good luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:01 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • Pray!
    1lilgirl

    Answer by 1lilgirl at 8:16 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • focus on what he does that is good. make him feel like it is such a special big deal to be a big brother and be sure to give him special one on one time with daddy and mommy. oh and i say things like "hold on baby, it's you sisters turn right now" i think it makes it easier on her when i cant jump up and be with her when i am doing baby things. GL and CONGRATS!!!
    rileymommy

    Answer by rileymommy at 9:08 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • Make him a part of helping with baby. Also make sure he still gets some one on one with you. Praise the good behaviors and ignore the bad. that doesn't mean let him hit. You can block him from hitting you just don't make eye contact. You can also simply leave the room. Ignore the screaming until he can use his big boy voice. Time out in the playpen if necessary.
    2autisticsmom

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 9:33 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • He needs to feel a sense of control. Make it clear that it is his baby too. One way you can do that is to put him "in charge" of part of the baby. Tell him he is in charge of the baby's feet. Have him pick out socks for the baby at the store. Every day have him pick out socks for baby to wear. Tell him he can kiss the baby's feet (if he wants).
    maggiemom2000

    Answer by maggiemom2000 at 9:42 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • iHave him get diapers. or bottles. He can sit w/you as you feed. Try and get him to do little jobs for you that are for the baby too. It's hard enough having a 2 yr old or a baby, you having both are surely rattled. Maybe that wld keep him a little busy and he'd feel useful and getting attn at the same time.
    MyAngel003

    Answer by MyAngel003 at 8:53 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • Make sure he knows having the baby here is a good thing, not bad. It wont take away your love for him and keep saying yay big brother. Have him help with diaper changes, it helps you. ie. Throwing away the diaper... giving you the wipe... saying "good job, big boy!" Praise him with help with the baby. That way he starts relating to the baby as an achievement he making rather than attention he is not getting. He can help with so much, buttons on the babys outfit... feels so big and grown... cause Mommy and Daddy do it. : )

    MeghMirab

    Answer by MeghMirab at 9:28 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • I too had a 2 year old when my daughter was born so I know how you feel! First, make sure to involve him as much as possible in the day to day baby care. I would let my son help me give the baby a bath, feed the baby, change the baby, rock the baby, play with the baby, whatever it was I was doing, I would try and make him part of it.

    Praise him for all the good things he does (even though they may be few and far between these days). Make sure to give him a lot of attention, if you can't give it all the time, have your SO or another family member/friend take him out somewhere special.
    Talk to him about what it means to be a big brother and how important it is that he be a good boy to his sibling and a good boy and helper for Mommy. It takes time but eventually it does get better!
    jacksmom3707

    Answer by jacksmom3707 at 10:09 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

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