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is it possible to have a friendly divorce?

my dh and i are divorcing. we agreed that we wanted to stay on friendly terms, for our children. but everyone keeps telling me that this is not possible. i know that i have been holding up my end, but it seems like he isn't holding up his. i just recieved a phone call saying i have to be in court (via phone) tommrow for the alleged abuse of my kids while i had them visiting me. i never spank my children, let alone beat them!

 
kaysha

Asked by kaysha at 9:02 PM on Aug. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,232 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • it's possible but if he is taking you to court and not holding up his end, well apparently not in your case. try to focus on what is happening rather than empty promises/him blowing smoke up your ass - he's obviously trying to manipulate the situation and have you let your guard down. look out!!
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 12:34 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • it's rare, but it's possible. my parents have been divorced since i was about 5 or 6...and they're still friends. they talk on the phone all the time (they live in different states, mom is taking care of her parents)
    armywife43

    Answer by armywife43 at 9:06 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • yes it is very possible. My MIL and FIL talk all the time on the phone or by email and they have been divorced for about 20 years. They see each other at family functions ant will talk and joke with each other. No matter the reason for your divorce, if you work at it, it can be friendly.
    LizzieAnnesMom

    Answer by LizzieAnnesMom at 9:09 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • They say you know you're ready when you CAN be friends. You've worked everything out you can and both realize divorce is still needed.
    thelowlander

    Answer by thelowlander at 9:12 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • It is possible, but it sounds like your ex is not going to make it that way. Accusing you of abuse is the exact opposite of friendly. My parents divorced and stayed friends, even my dad was friends with my stepfather. I grew up knowing nothing about the terms "child support" or "visitation". My parents decided that they loved us more than they hated eachother. Even extended family supported this arrangement. I was so lucky.
    gramsmom

    Answer by gramsmom at 9:05 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • good luck
    3xangel

    Answer by 3xangel at 9:14 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • possible? maybe. I guess it just depends on why your getting the divorce in the first place. With me, I fell out of love and left for another man that I did love. This made him very bitter, so needless to say it was not a very friendly divorce. But perhaps when everything is said and done, and awhile down the road, we'll be able to be friends. Time will tell. You just have to stay strong, for the kids and this will all be over and done with in time-good luck!
    HeatherLynn

    Answer by HeatherLynn at 10:51 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • It is possible, although that doesn't mean it will be possible in YOUR case. Unfortunately, it sounds like your soon to be ex is making things less and amicable. You should really sit him down and tell him how you'd like things to be, since this obviously is NOT it. I know those who have managed it though. A friend of mine is still good friends with her ex husband. He comes to her family get togethers, they hang out sometimes...he gets along with her new husband, and he came to her little girl's b-day party last weekend, the daughter who was born with said new hubby. So, yes, it happens...but just like in marriage...you STILL have to work at it.
    ErinHill226

    Answer by ErinHill226 at 12:15 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • thank you all. i'm just so stressed by this whole thing.
    kaysha

    Comment by kaysha (original poster) at 9:13 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • My ex and I are still friends, I have him over for dinner, we get along fine....I just don't expect anything from him and it works, there are still the reasons we divorced, but there are still the reasons I loved him too, so yes it is possible, but the alleged abuse is f***ed up, I guess go and see what they say, maybe he is just trying to look out for his children
    gypsymama532

    Answer by gypsymama532 at 9:48 PM on Aug. 3, 2010