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what would you do if your ex bf that you spent six years with wanted you back and you are now in a new relationship of two months?

i broke up with my ex bf because i felt the relationship was not going anywhere...he asked me to marry him in 2005 and i broke up with him in 2010...he now says he realizes what he did wrong and understands why i chose to end the relationship...before he had no plans for future and said he needed to get his ducks in a row before he could do anything...now he has all kinds of plans and wants to share them with me...and also we dated off and on from 2001 thru 2004 but not committed until 2005...now i feel i am in a tug of war...

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bentheredonthat

Asked by bentheredonthat at 9:14 PM on Aug. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Level 5 (79 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • i like to look forward not backwards, there is a reason he is your ex. i cant tell you what to choose but be careful..
    3xangel

    Answer by 3xangel at 9:17 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • sounds like now he's more jealous bc you found someone else. like pp said, look forward. an ex is an ex for a reason. you may ruin a great relationship like he did and wish you had that guy back like he does. cut off all communication and take pride in your decision.
    angevil53

    Answer by angevil53 at 9:38 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • you need to see the bad parts and times that took place in the relationship you were in and ask yourself if its worth it .now youve only been with the new guy only two months but still if he makes you happy and you are connecting with this one stay with the new guy . best advice is do you really want to go threw the bad times he puts you threw if not keep on walking and dont look back .Right now all he is offering is words anyone can do that dear
    hush84

    Answer by hush84 at 9:38 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • Blah, blah, blah! He suddenly changed because you didn't want him? I had one of those once. Now I'm with A Man who didn't have to change a thing. You'll find yours, sister. Light a candle, sit back and wait...I promise!
    BluDog

    Answer by BluDog at 12:09 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • first of all... i really despise when people use the excuse that they need to work on themselves to end a relationship. if you are not ready for a relationship, don't start one and then back out when you get scared of commitment. a relationship is not mutually exclusive of progress. in fact a relationship can be a fabulous source of support and should inspire you and provide security and sounding board to be the most yourself you've ever been if it's healthy. he is commitment phobic. are you willing to go backwards in life? it's been a long time - you don't even know who he is anymore... either he is still the same wishy washy fool or he is very very different. surely you've changed. i had the opportunity to get back together with a long-time boyfriend right before i met my husband. he wanted to... i was excited to see him again and we still had a connection but he was NOT the one for me... in fact we aren't even friends now..
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 12:23 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • Keep going forward and don't look back. The past is the past and let it be. Since you've already done this twice, it's likely to happen again.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:13 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • I agree, there is a reason he is an ex. Also, if the two of you couldnt get futures and plans started together then, why start now?
    Mom2Rylin

    Answer by Mom2Rylin at 4:21 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • The question may not be so much, "Should i get back with my ex", as what about Mr. Two-Months? If you are having questions about that, getting out early is better than becoming attached at the life and having to back out later. Are you happy with this new fella? Obviously not happy enough to NOT entertain ideas about other men - exes or otherwise, eh? I've been there - I went back - I broke Mr. Two-months heart, and the "old/new" relationship lasted another 5 years before we mutually called it quits. If there are children involved, you have a further complication. No one can tell you what you should or should not do, but the above things should really be taken into consideration. Best of luck with your decision - but it is just that...YOURS. No one has to live with it except you, so take your time and go with your gut.
    mommyx9

    Answer by mommyx9 at 7:56 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

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