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How can I meet people and form lasting friendships?

I'm EXTREMELY lonely and my only companions are Oprah and Dr. Phil. My husband (who is wonderful) works nights and I have no friends. I have tried meeting people at church, meet-up groups, the park, my children's schools, you name it. I may have a nice conversation with someone, but it never turns into anything more. I have given my phone # to at least 50 people in the last year and no one has called. I don't want to ask for their # as I feel it's being too pushy. So here I am, please help!!!!

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buddy1212

Asked by buddy1212 at 9:48 PM on Aug. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Level 3 (17 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • same boat here but seperated i go out with the kids all the time and meet people but they seldom if ever call or txt. you need to find comfort in yourself and just think of it as a network rather then 1bff situatioon. all you need in this world is 1 best freind and it will come if you will it to happen. best of luck. maybe try joining a local mom group so you all have something in common
    miritrose

    Answer by miritrose at 9:51 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • It sounds like you are doing the right things but that everyone is as busy w/ children and hubby as you are. Have you joined the PTA and volunteered for everything you can at your church and children's schools? It will keep you busy until you make the friends you want. You will find yourself working w/ alot of the same people and in time some of them will turn into friends. Don't be afraid to invite some of them over to your house so the kids can all have ice cream or something, or volunteer your home (since your hubby is at work) for the fundraiser meeting from school.
    CorrinaWithrow

    Answer by CorrinaWithrow at 10:03 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • The hardest thing about the relationships you seek is that they cannot be manufactured. You can join a church or group of similarly interested women - and you will have people to chat with - but I think I feel what you are looking for are real soul companions, and these come when you least expect them. The above answer is so true - this time of life, your peers are insanely busy, wit families and careers, etc. And true friendships are, quite frankly, a lot of responsibility, also. If you want people to be there for you, you are there for them, and that's a tough thing to do when your family takes up such a large amount of your time. Learn to enjoy the company of others for the time you have it - the church picnic, the PTA meeting, but don't place too big an expectation on these friendships at this time in your life.
    mommyx9

    Answer by mommyx9 at 10:11 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • I have met some great friends through work and college. Those are usually the people that last for life rather than high school friends (which I still have a few of as well).
    AnasMommy7

    Answer by AnasMommy7 at 10:17 PM on Aug. 3, 2010

  • you're going to have to show some interest in other people and just try to get over that feeling that you're being pushy. when you're giving them your number only they may feel like it's not worth the effort - like you're not interested in enough in THEM to make it worth the effort of starting a friendship. it's really hard to make friends where i live, but the way i have is only by putting myself out there and calling people and meeting up with them for coffee, to see a band, whatever your common interests are. sure there's a chance you might get rejected (but don't take the first inability to make a "friend date" as rejection - people are busy) and someone might think you're weird, but that's the chance you must take in order to have a chance at friendship - you can't expect that everyone else is not shy or not sure how to approach you...
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 12:13 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • do you read, go to the book store or library, talk to your neighbors, if you have a dog and take a walk, talk to people walking theirs, do you go to the park with your children, talk to parents there, I'll go to the community center and take a yoga class and meet others. Try do new things, the worst that would happend is they would not talk to you, don't feel bad and keep trying. good luck, I have done all this before.
    cayenaroja

    Answer by cayenaroja at 9:45 AM on Aug. 4, 2010

  • Thanks for the encouragement everyone! I'm trying to take one day at a time and trust that my prayers will be answered. I just feel like everyone else's plate is full; they have enough friends and are satisfied with their life. I am the exact opposite: I am 37 years old and have one friend. She lives in another state, but at least it's someone to call and talk to. So here I am, lonely and starting from ground zero. I'm going to continue to stay active and hope that friendships will form over time. Here I go........
    buddy1212

    Comment by buddy1212 (original poster) at 1:05 PM on Aug. 5, 2010

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