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Spanking books

I don't believe in spanking or in any other kind of hitting. I don't really see how you can teach your child that hitting is wrong, but then hit them. I also think it causes psychological and emotional damage to the child.

However, my partner thinks that spanking is okay in certain scenerios.

I'm wondering if anyone knows of a good book that talks about the affects of spanking. To be fair to my partner, I'm mostly interested in a book that will talk about the pros and cons, but anything that delves into the behavioral affects would be a great start.

Anyone?

Answer Question
 
FrunchyMama

Asked by FrunchyMama at 7:19 PM on Oct. 4, 2008 in General Parenting

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I have never heard of a book that talks about spanking but then again I don't read parenting books. I believe that spanking is an effective form of discipline.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 7:30 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • I dont spank books. They dont usually do anything bad.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:38 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • Try the attachment parenting books by Dr William Sears and his wife.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:45 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • "Sheperding a Childs Heart" By Tedd Tripp. Is a Great book on when To disicpline and to what degree.. I think if a child test you you spank and not hard but affirming. Like the other day my son kept droping his food on the floor and I told him No and I showed him his food went on the Highchair NOT the floor and he did it again and he knew what was coming and he moved his arms in and I held one of arms out and spanked firmly on his forearm and he cried for a few seconds and I told him i loved him But that he needs to listen and then he stopped throwing stuff on the florr and Instead of just making him feel bad I made sure I reassured that I loved him and we then played a game where Id act like I was eating his food and then he would grab it from me . He knew he was in trouble but Instead of Dwelling on it and making him think its the end of the world I loved on him.. My Rule for me is "spare the rod Spare the Child"
    UAFwife

    Answer by UAFwife at 8:33 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • I am an 'expert' ;) I have five kids. Ages from 25 down to 5. I have three kids that are grown...two boys and one girl. I spanked when I had to...but I also praised the actions that I wanted to instill. I always let me kids know I loved them. Distraction sometimes is better then spanking. I only called them positive names....'my good boy/girl' 'you are smart, you know better then that' NEVER called them stupid or a mistake (none of them were planned) I NEVER said I wish you were never born. IMO the words you use have more of a potential to be psychological damaging then spanking. .
    Continued in next answer ;)
    Blessings and Smiles!
    Sherry
    www.SpiritualGiftedPsychic.com
    PsychicSherry

    Answer by PsychicSherry at 9:15 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • I never left a mark...I don't spank hard. My older kids will tell you that they would pretend to cry when I spanked. But...they knew when I spanked they had done something wrong. They had disappointed me. I was a single mom then and about to be again. If you ask anyone with teenage boys, they get an attitude when they get taller then mom. I am just under 5' so that did not take long for them ;) I even had well behaved teenage boys.
    Continued in next answer ;)
    Blessings and Smiles!
    Sherry
    www.SpiritualGiftedPsychic.com
    PsychicSherry

    Answer by PsychicSherry at 9:16 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • I have one child that is graduating with a double major, one going on for his masters, and one becoming an electrician. People enjoy being around my kids...they know if they need help with anything they can call on my kids and they are there. I have been told throughout their growing up years that parents enjoyed having my kids as their kids friends because my kids were a good influence. I am still raising two more...the 5 yr old gets spanked...the 15yr old does not need it anymore.....grounding is a more powerful tool ;) Sometimes I just have to slap my hands together...and the 5yr gets the point ;)

    Blessings and Smiles!
    Sherry
    www.SpiritualGiftedPsychic.com
    PsychicSherry

    Answer by PsychicSherry at 9:17 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • Why are you wanting to read a book wrote by someone who was so busy doing research at some university or writing their book that they didn't raise their own kids!!! You both need to sit down and figure out a style that works for both of you. That is all there is to it. Because for everything that you find against spanking there is going to be something for it. Figure out what works for your kid and go from there.
    MarshaB702

    Answer by MarshaB702 at 11:03 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

  • I KNOW THAT YOU WERE LOOKING FOR ANSWERS WITH BOOKS, BUT I DONT KNOW OF ANY. I DO KNOW HOWEVER THAT I COMMEND YOU AND TRYING TO COMPROMISE AND WORK THROUGH THIS WITH YOUR PARTNER. I ADMIRE YOU FOR THAT. I ALSO HAVE TO SAY THAT THE COMMENT ABOUT SPANKING BOOKS WAS REALLY FUNNY. WITH AS SENSATIVE THIS TOPIC CAN BE, THE LITTLE BIT OF HUMOR WAS NICE.

    alicia_4307

    Answer by alicia_4307 at 2:13 AM on Oct. 5, 2008

  • Thanks for all your advice. To answer the one poster's question about reading a book written by someone else, I like writers can be as good as parents as other other profession, but what I'm really interested in knowing is the scientific evidence that shows the affects of spanking on the psychological and emotional well-being of the child.
    FrunchyMama

    Answer by FrunchyMama at 8:04 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

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